On our way to Kazakhstan

IT HAS BEEN A YEAR.

2008-10-28T14:16:00.004-04:00

It amazes me how much has happened in just this past year since we met our beautiful daughter, Nika in Arkalyk, Kazakhstan. She has come so far and delights us everyday with her exuberance and joy. She has retained a few Russian words that we continue to use so she is familiar with the language. We talk about her Kazak home as Albina dom (the director of the orphanage was Albina), but what she loves to talk about is Brooklyn the home we first took her to when we returned to the States and now after 4 months in a new home in a new town Nika still refers to our house (every time we pull into the driveway) as Nika's new house. She loves her home, her family, her school, new friends and food. We have learned a lot from one another this past year and what I know most is that we are all so special and with a little work and a lot of love we can grow and flourish in the most surprising ways. I love my daughter and am thrilled this past year is behind us and will remember what we once were as we move forward and grow.

CoolKazMoms

2008-06-19T00:12:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to add that I wish there was more time for all of us to have together getting to know one another. I especially loved meeting all four planners and their families. I had spent so much time getting to know them a few months back that I really enjoyed finally meeting them.

Kazapalooza

2008-06-18T23:23:00.005-04:00

We had such a great time in Chicago this past weekend at Kazapalooza 2008.

We finally got to meet in person some of the many families that we have become familiar with via their blogs about their adoption process in Kazakhstan and current lives back home.
I hardly make the time to continue our blog but thought for this occasion I must post some photos of our new friends. There were so many people to talk to we hardly got around to everyone but we all shared some special moments and a lot of love and fun.

Special thanks to Muriel, Michelle, Gretchen and Kristan for taking so much time and making the effort to pull this very successful event off. Good job girls, great to meet you all and will look forward to staying in touch and seeing you all again next year if not sooner. To everyone else who attended - I hope we can share in each others blogs and watch our beautiful children develop and thrive.

Birthday Girl

2008-05-09T22:44:00.003-04:00

Nika is 3 years old today and it also happens to be 6 months today that we are home with her. I thought I would keep the day simple with her and we would celebrate with just the family this evening together, but when I took her to her favorite music class this morning and everyone sang Happy Birthday to her I got completely emotional and realized what a big day this is.

We have come so far together and our beautiful daughter, Nika is so loved and happy with her life I was taken by the moment and decided I must go out and get an ice cream cake and invite a few friends over to celebrate after school. We had a great party and I am so glad Nika got to feel the love from all of her new friends and family. We all had a great day. I am just so moved by how far we've come. I read my friends blogs who are in the process of adopting and hear their stories and recall myself being in a difficult place and uncertain times of not knowing how things were going to play out. Finally I can truly say I don't worry so much any more - I am confident we are on track and moving right along.
Speaking of which - we move in 1 month from today.
Ouch that means I have a lot to do between now and then.

April

2008-04-04T13:57:00.004-04:00

It is almost five months that Nika has been home in NYC and I can finally say she is a very happy girl. It was a difficult few months getting settled into life and family but she is doing so well adjusting and loving her home and environment. All of a sudden her language is coming together and just this week she is speaking and greeting Tom at the door with whole sentences that can actually be understood.
There is no doubt this child is full of energy, but she seems a bit calmer then before. We also notice her display of love has surfaced and she wakes up and gives Aidan a good morning kiss and hug that just fills me with joy.
So there you have it - we are all truly in love and growing every day in every way.
Life is good.
xxxA

12 weeks later

2008-01-30T23:09:00.000-05:00

I realized tomorrow will be 12 weeks since we have been home. It has been a very hectic time for us and I do not want to go into too much detail, mainly because I speak to most of you.
We are well, yes still tired but working on that. Nika is so happy in her new home. The two sisters are great together and I get such joy knowing they have each other. If I said much more it would become epic so I keep it short and sweet.
Let the pictures speak for how we are and maybe I will come around to bloggging again sometime soon.

Tired

2007-11-14T20:44:00.000-05:00

I hardly have the brainpower to say more than – everything is wonderful and incredibly hectic. Nika is still on Kaz time and we are desperately trying to get her into our time zone but she has not completely made the switch yet. Therefore I too am living in her zone and sleep deprived for it. Otherwise, we are so happy to be home and trying to find a new rhythm to life. Aidan and Nika are getting along so well (most of the time) and that is the most exciting thing for us--to see them starting to bond and know one another.

More later.............

Hello From Brooklyn

2007-11-09T12:37:00.001-05:00

I live in Brooklyn. By choice.
-- A House on the Heights
Truman Capote

On Our Way Home!!

2007-11-07T06:12:00.000-05:00

Hello all, it's Tom with a quick post. We made it through our interview at the Embassy today (with a little bit of drama that we'll write about in the epilogue to this journey) and our travel agent in the States told us there were seats available on the flight that leaves early morning Thursday. We'll get confirmation from him when his day starts but as of now we're heading home. I can't believe I just wrote that but don't worry, I have no doubt it will sink in quickly.

If we can't get on the flight we'll post an entry here but as of now we should land at around 1 pm New York time on Thursday afternoon. We're looking forward to seeing everyone and introducing Nika to you all.

As for me and my lack of posting, I know, I know...the truth is that it's been difficult to find a theme to write around, I know that's a cop-out but there are so many different things that struck me about Almaty and I'm hoping that a few days' distance will help distill them into something coherent. It's a beautiful place and the firm has been exceedingly gracious to Allyson, Nika and I. At the same time, the absolute lack of a common language with anyone outside the firm is no different than watching a movie with the sound turned off. Eventually you pick up the theme but it takes a while and you always wonder what you've missed. No complaints, I can't imagine not having taken this trip although I wish that Aidan could have been here to share it with us.

That's enough for now, like I said I'm sure there will be several epilogues over the next days and weeks, innumerable people to thank (starting with our parents and families) and plenty of stories to tell (including all the stories about what we missed when we were gone, like whatever happened to the Yankees). See you in Brooklyn, if you're around stop by this weekend, we'd love to see you.

Last (Lost) Weekend in Almaty

2007-11-06T07:08:00.000-05:00

Good news--the passport came through and we are going through the final US embassy procedures and will be able to leave in a few days.

We had a fun weekend.

Saturday we went up to Medeo, the mountain resort area and went ice skating on what is advertised as the largest outdoor skating rink in the world. It was truly beautiful. The ice started out really slippery but then after a few spins I got more comfortable and the ice got a bit scratched up by the other skaters and I felt more comfortable. Tom and I took turns between skating on the ice and playing with Nika. She had fun basking in the sun and watching all the action. No, she did not skate, but we’ll try later this winter once we get her a pair of double-blade skates.

Sunday, we walked all day and in the evening we entertained a couple of Tom’s colleagues from the Grata firm for dinner at our place. I had fun and if you don’t mind saying it, great success, making a meal using the one pot that came with the flat and typical Almaty supermarket ingredients, to come up with a few dishes that were totally different then they had eaten before.

Monday was spent on Nika’s medical checkup with the international clinic here in Almaty and then a dinner at the home of another Grata partner. If things go well, on Tuesday the final translated paperwork, including Kazkakh passport and exit visa will arrive from Astana on the train. It will be submitted to the American Embassy for the consul’s review and confirmation that no other documents are needed and our interview can go forward. Our interview is scheduled for 3pm on Wednesday and as all goes well, we will walk out of there with Veronika Rose Guida’s US visa and will be free to travel home. If possible we may be getting on an earlier flight be home on Thursday instead of Friday but it’s too tantalizing to consider until it’s a reality so let’s just not think about that (or tell Aidan yet).

Either way – we are moments away……..finally. How exciting!!!

Veronika is very vocal when she is with us but when around other people, even those that speak Russian to her, she remains fairly silent, maybe just shy for now. She is a very funny girl and so 2 years old, if you know what I mean. Tonight’s joke was that she was sitting on my lap, whispering some gibberish in my ear and knowing very well I couldn’t hear and or understand her. That was exactly her point – I think she realizes, volume doesn’t make a difference neither one of us are completely understanding one another so it was a joke she was whispering nonsense in my ear and I was whispering back and we were both laughing.

I thought I would mention a few things about this city of Almaty. It has much more to offer then I might have given it credit for originally, having come from Arkalyk I was not sure how much more advanced a city in the same country that has an Arkalyk could be. Now, after two weeks here I think it is a pretty dynamic place but lots of stark contrasts: old and new, modern and traditional, those with significant wealth and those scraping by. In other words, much like many other great cities around the world, with the same variety of neighborhoods and people. There is certainly a lot of building going on and according to some of our Kazak friends who have lived here all their lives, they much prefer the old style to what is being built now.

The literature we read about the variety of people here was quite accurate. There are actually three different groups within the Kazakh nation, and many people have some mix of Central Asian ethnic groups in their heritage, including Uzbek, Tatar, Khyrgiz, Turkish, Mongolian and of course there is some mixing between those groups and Russians. We’re both pretty exhausted and overloaded from the trip but managing not to let that overlay taint our appreciation of the place and the people, which are pretty amazing.

Stay tuned, we’re nearly there…

Café Delia

2007-11-01T08:29:00.000-04:00

All is well. Prepare yourself to once again follow the bouncing ball with the most current version of our timeline from this point on:

Nika’s passport may be issued today (Thursday) by the Regional authorities in Kostanai but is more likely to be issued before the close of business on Friday. This is the latest it can be issued and the timing still work for us to take our originally scheduled flight one week from Friday, the 9th of November. Once the passport is issued it goes on Monday to be registered with the local Kostanai Region immigration Police. From there it will be put on the train for an overnight to Astana where our local coordinator will receive it at 8am and have the day to take it to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for their registration stamp. That evening it will be put once again on another overnight train, this time en route to Almaty, where the Almaty coordinator will get it from the conductor. Later that day (Wednesday, if all goes well) the coordinator will take us for our interview with the American Embassy. I forgot to mention that on Monday we will prep additional paperwork for the Embassy and on Tuesday we will have our appointment for Nika’s mandatory medical review with the Embassy-affiliated clinic. Assuming it all goes as I have described we are on our plane on Friday. Let’s not even discuss the obvious extra days before we leave if on this Friday the Passport is not complete.

What can I say, I am tongue tied-once again because this whole process is so difficult in many ways. We have absolutely no control or ability to help this process along and it will not go any faster then it is already going regardless of what we do. Believe me, we have made many attempts to gain more insight into the process and we need to be patient and remind ourselves that we have a beautiful daughter because of this process.

I am sitting in a groovy Internet Café (Café Delia) sipping my latte and happily having two hours to myself. I dropped Nika with Tom so they could have some quality afternoon bonding. I just needed a moment to relax and write. I realized Nika and I have been together now 24/7/23(days) – and when I say 24 I don’t really exaggerate because she wakes every night with screams of terror so we put her in our bed and in the morning I awake to her playing with my nose or finger in the ear or just some basic rambunctious kicks to say its time to get up. We get to see the sun rise over the mountains as I cook our morning porridge.

Nika follows me everywhere – that would include the bathroom while I shower and do my business, I often feel like I am about to trip over her because she is under my feet beside me. We have some really sweet rituals developing that she really enjoys and likes repeated over and over again – it’s that 2-year-old thing.

I have basically given up the nap, it was incredibly painful for the two of us and for now we will forfeit it with hopes that we can incorporate it into our Brooklyn life. I was waiting yesterday for someone to arrive at 1pm as scheduled and at 2:30 I heard he would be a little late and then he arrived at 3pm instead (this too I am learning is a Kazakh thing-lack of promptness is to be tolerated and that is just how it is. So I thought maybe I would try the nap because we have just a handful of toys at this point that we are getting somewhat bored of and I sat Nika on the couch and tried to cradle her like I would for sleep and she started to sing my Tumbala (sleep) song and with her hand she started making nice to me so I would shut my eyes………the same thing I was about to do to her. It was a priceless moment and she too knew how funny she was. Ha – so neither of us slept, but it was a good try.

She really is cute, and smart and mischievous and stubborn and loving and eager to please.

I had a moment today when we were in the mall, yes I’m doing malls, I tried museums but Nika is just too wild, she wants to run around, scream and touch everything. I have a hard time getting her to hold my hand and just walk. Instead she will put her hands behind her back and start to walk backwards without looking or considering what is behind her. Then she will wave to me and say bye bye or paca paca and away she goes. So the mall thing seems safer then the streets, but I do both. Today we went into a park and played in a really fun, dirty playground and I realized she was in awe of conversations going on with other moms and their children because she was hearing and understanding the language. It makes me sad that I cannot communicate in the same way. I know she will soon understand all that I am saying but for now it is reassuring for her to hear Russian. The other night we went out with one of Tom’s colleges from work and she had a nursery rhyme that Veronika loved. I had her write it down for me so I can start saying it to her.

Here you can all learn it –

Goosi, Goosie – Gah, Gah, Gah!
Est Khotite? – Dah, Dah, Dah
Khl’eba s maslom? – Net, Net, Net!
A chevo? – Kanfet, kanfet!

Do not ask me to translate – I just know she loved it and I will try to repeat it as often as I remember.

We have been social every evening which helps the time go by and always nice to relax and converse with new friends and acquaintances. Last night we had our 2 adoptive family friends at our apartment. We had a nice evening celebrating their own successful court appearances earlier that day. Tonight we are meeting Aidos Sagat, the leader of the Kazakhstan Rock band, URKER. That’s right folks, leave it to Tom to find a connection to the only #1 Kazakh band we know (we saw them at Lincoln Center last year). Aidos was kind enough to give us a Kazakh wall hanging when he and Tom first met that is very beautiful and thoughtful. I will write more when I can get some “me” time again and tell you of our visit.

Cross your fingers, say a prayer, throw salt over your shoulder, put out the positive good energy and vibes for Veronika Rose Guida’s passport to be issued on time by tomorrow, Friday.

Enough said.

Pause

2007-10-30T02:07:00.000-04:00

I wanted to say that I am having technical difficulties and hope to catch up with the blog within another day or so.

I do not have online access at our apartment so Tom was able to get my Blackberry working and I am finally receiving all your emails again, thankfully. The good news is I have a very active 2 year old, who is demanding of my full attention. We seem to be busy most days and Veronika has not been taking her afternoon nap so I really do not have time during the day to write but please keep the emails coming.

I have many pictures to post and stories to tell – I will get there again. For now – sorry for the delay.

Hopefully ……more tomorrow.

Republic Day

2007-10-28T00:34:00.000-04:00

Republic Day celebrates the day in 1991 that Kazakhstan declared itself a sovereign republic. There is a second holiday in December which celebrates its declaration of independence from the Soviet Union that same year.

Tom had the day off (as did our driver) and we took a long walk to see some of the city and neighborhoods, we met John and Gigi for lunch at a pizza place with an internet café for quick check of emails. Then after a quick nap at home had dinner out with a nice Kazakh couple that Tom has met through a business connection. Tom has made it a point to keep us busy socially so I will perhaps not have as much time to think about wanting to be home as much. It does help in ways. We had dinner at Pomodoro, a small Italian restaurant not in any of the guide books owned by Giorgio, a local legend who set up the first Italian restaurant here in 1993, returned to Italy a few years later with his new Kazakh bride, then returned to Almaty three year ago to cure his wife’s homesickness and a widely-reported homesickness here for his cooking. It was a terrific meal and went a little way towards helping us forget we are far from home.

By the way – I keep writing Veronika and I think I should mention now that I have been calling her Nika (“Neeka”) most of the time, it works and she generally responds to it.

She has a few English words so far……..up, down, hello, good bye, all done and she calls me momma and Tom papa. She has a lot to say in Russian and some of it we understand.
She also loves to sing with me my Tumbala song – I hope my mom, bubba and Aidan will appreciate that, it is a lullaby I have always loved. My grandmother and mother of course know all of the words, I sing the same four words over and hum the rest and now Nika does also as does Aidan.

We are now checking out the markets and malls in town and maybe we will actually buy something, up until now we have not made a real purchase of any kind. We also are planning on sight-seeing a bit this afternoon. This city has an amazing backdrop of snow-capped mountains and we plan to take a cable car to the top of one ridge and see what is going on there. What tourist books there are do not give much detail about the sites and city. So we’re going on word of mouth and we will report back in a few days once we have had a chance to explore more.

For now we are together and well, longing for our number one child and home, but thankful that the process will soon be done. We are in the final stretch of waiting for Veronika’s passport and exit visa. On Wednesday, we should have the exact status on when it will go to Astana to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and then be sent overnight to Almaty for our two days of US Embassy processing. Fingers crossed all of this will take place in time for us to depart as planned in the early morning hours of November 9th.

Almaty

2007-10-28T00:32:00.001-04:00

I have not really taken photographs since I am in Almaty. I do not seem to be as interested in this city as I was in my little village of Arkalyk. By the way…….I hope I was clear that I have been on dial up speed and once I am back home and able to get high speed again I will be able to post some truly interesting higher resolution photos of the landscape as I saw it. Too difficult now with dial up.

I have also been without Internet completely for 6 days, boo hoo. I walk around with Veronika during the day without a cell phone, not speaking the language or able to read even a street sign and not connected by Internet, what a contrast and disconnect to life as I know it. I now know what Tom meant when he told me he felt like he was on one of those Zen silent retreats where there is no one to speak to in English for hours on end.

Tom is working out of Grata Law Firm’s high rise office, relatively connected and meeting people daily that are educated and speak some English so he has made some in-roads at understanding the city and culture.

Thankfully I have our driver Alexandr, again not a word of language understood by either of us yet we figure out how to get Veronika and I to and fro as needed. Being in a completely foreign place is amazing and exhausting all at the same time. V and I met Tom at his office last night for a cocktail party, they were celebrating the next day’s Republic Day Holiday. We got to meet all of his co-workers and hear some toasts, in Russian of course, and laugh along like we understood. The “toast” is ever-present in Kazakhstan, whether it’s an intimate family dinner or office party, and Tom thinks that there is a premium placed on the length of the toast as a sign of respect for the person being toasted, where we often respect bang-for-the buck in a short but well-spoken phrase or two.

Later that evening, Tom wanted to treat me to a nice evening and take us for a sushi dinner. He had been to this particular restaurant last week and thought I would enjoy. Sushi is one of my favorite meals, so I agreed. It wasn’t the most relaxing of meals, but all in all enjoyable. Keep in mind we had a 2year old sitting and waiting for food much longer then anticipated and maybe more restless then we were accustomed to, but she handled herself pretty well despite the late hour and new environment.

I was blown away with the fact that we were ordering sushi for ourselves and trying to get something for Veronika like a rice with cooked chicken and vegetable sort of meal when the server brings over a menu to tell us in Russian – “children’s menu.” What were the two options, you might ask? We had no idea how universal the children’s menu concept is, the options were, not surprisingly, chicken fingers with fries or spaghetti. How amazing, because there is no reference to anything American here in this country, there are almost no fast food chains, yet they serve children the two most American meals available on the children’s menu in any restaurant USA. Talk about a lack of context.

There we were eating Veronika’s fries with ketchup with our chopsticks while we waited on our sushi – it was Veronika’s first chicken fingers and fries – not bad once she figured out what they were. The sushi, which nearly resembled what we thought we’d ordered, wasn’t bad and might just hold us over until we get home.

Almaty - Day One and Two Impressions

2007-10-28T00:21:00.000-04:00

Almaty-Day One

WOW – what a difference from Arkalyk. I will not say anything bad about being in Arkalyk, it was time for us to move on. I can tell you already Veronika is very happy to be here.

We had a busy 24 hours of travel to get here, we were welcomed by Tom at the airport and taken to our apartment by a driver he has hired for us while we are here. At first I did not understand the need for a driver but already I am glad we have Alexandr to navigate for us.

We actually had dinner plans this evening at the home of Kevin and Marci Kilpatrick and their 5 wonderful children. Marci is the friend of a friend of my cousin Michele in North Carolina, and Kevin was recently posted to the US Embassy here as the State Department Regional Medical Officer for Central Asia. They have a lovely home and we had such a nice evening getting to know them and hearing about their process of settling in for Kevin’s two year assignment. They have traveled the world and made many exotic lands their home while Kevin has worked for various international medical groups and they are an all around amazing family.

It took Veronika about an hour to warm up to everyone and she had a ball. It made me think of how much she will enjoy her cousins and all the family once she gets to meet them.

Day 2 in Almaty

Veronika and I took the car with Tom to work and after we dropped him off at the office we walked around the Central Recreational Park (formerly known as Gorky Park). It was very beautiful, almost as pretty as Central Park. There were many children playing and all speaking Russian, Veronika didn’t seem to want to get involved with them at all. I think she gets very shy and also likes relaxing in her stroller, so I wandered around for a while and then had the driver take me to the RamStor Mall, a want-to-be American style mall with food court and all. No, I did not eat there, but we did get to watch little girls taking ice skating lesions for a while at the miniature rink right in the middle of the mall. Aidan has already told me that she wants an ice skating birthday party next March so I think we will need to get Veronika started on skates as soon as we get home. Veronika is fearless and she already falls all the time so maybe she will do just fine on skates.

Back to the Ramstor, we went food shopping at the real supermarket there. Yes, this was another one of my highlights because there was actually aisles and variety, closer to resembling a supermarket as we know it in the States then anything in Arkalyk, that’s for sure.

I prepared dinner that evening for a couple Tom had met a week earlier. John and Gigi are from Boston and here adopting a one year old girl. They were so nice and fun to be with, and once she warmed up to them Veronika was very taken once again with another male figure, she really likes the men……..it’s all new to her.

I think women may remind her of the caretakers and men are not just new, they’re mostly silly and goofy to her and somehow she got John and the Kilpatrick boys to get on the floor to play and make her laugh. If you notice, women are more serious when it comes to playing – men make faces, noises, etc. Do you agree?

It was a good day, but once again I must admit it is hard for me to say I don’t miss Aidan madly and want so desperately to be with her.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2007-10-22T01:03:00.000-04:00

It's cold and muddy outside, but I had to get a few minutes of fresh air because we felt cooped up inside. So, I dressed Veronika in all her layers, rolled up her pants, put on her hat and off we went. Our big outing was to the garbage pail around the corner to throw the many empty beer bottles left behind by the 3 couples I had invited over the night before. These couples have recently arrived to adopt children from the orphanage and I shared some of what I had already gone through and learned along the way. We had a nice evening and I thought it was too bad they hadn't arrived earlier in our process, we would have enjoyed the company. Of course, we were very fortunate to be imersed into the Kazakh culture, so no complaints.

Back to Veronika and I, out in the rain enjoying those brief grey moments when she tripped like every two-year old inevitably does and fell right into the mud. I am talking full frontal mud-ity. She got up, totally startled and upset and started wiping the mud from her hands on which ever parts of her had not been covered. 100% mess, which isn't bad for probably all of 4 minutes of outside fun. I decided to bring her in because surely if anyone saw us they would think I was crazy to have a child outside like that.

In we went and that was the highlight of my day. No pictures – too messy and a moment better remembered than documented.

So that was my high of the day – my low of the day went like this:

After Veronika took a two hour nap, what a joy, and mommy joined her for the last 45 minutes of snooze time. Yes, I admit it, I too have been napping, what fun. This is a pleasure I have always denied myself out of sheer guilt, there must be a dozen other things I need to do before I could even consider an afternoon rest, right? When she awoke I thought to give her a snack of peach yogurt, she decided she did not want it and began getting very upset. I tried some other alternatives, but she wasn't sure of anything and I started to eat her yogurt trying to get her to have some. I wound up finishing the whole yogurt and she just kept getting extremely agitated and the tantrum began. This continued and I couldn't figure out why and she was so upset I thought to see if Habiba's children next door could help change the scene and help calm her.Instead, Solya (Habiba's aunt) was in the kitchen cooking and Veronika likes her very much, and went directly to her and calmed down within moments. Now, my two year old wanted nothing to do with me for hours, only wanted Solya who was speaking Russian and singing to her. Maybe Veronika doesn't like my songs or understand me but it hurt and made me sad. There, you have the high and low of my day, probably the same for any parent of a two year old, particularly one trying to make sense of a whole new world.

Then came the evening, which was an event full of fun. Habiba arranged a dinner out at the café to commemorate my leaving (no need to say "a" cafe because there's only one). It was the first time I went out for a meal since I arrived and it was really fun. We had a private room in the back and ate some really good food, had many vodka toasts, followed by dancing. It was such a fun time and I truly appreciate Habiba honoring me with a dinner like that, its nice we have a good relationship and bond.

As for my husband, he is alive and well and spending too much time thinking up a theme for his first blog entry on Almaty. He is also suffering today all alone in Almaty with possibly food poisoning. He was out last night at a Kazakh wedding with friends from the law firm he is working with.

Good news about my train ride to Astana – I have Aidar's sister joining me for the long ride. It will be very helpful to have her with us.

Next stop--Almaty!

New Boots

2007-10-18T06:10:00.001-04:00

Veronika liked her new boots so much she wouldn't take them off.

She's cute isn't she?
We think so.
Can't wait for you all to meet her.

Soon.

Farmers' Market

2007-10-17T12:40:00.000-04:00

Not exactly like the one in my neighborhood, but like most local farmers' markets the food is fresh - sometimes too fresh. I was surprised to see that they sell meat, and butcher the animals there in the market, it was a sight I was mostly unable to photograph except for this one photograph but the image will be in my brain for some time I am sure.

They also sell bags of onions and potatoes off the truck, not like our 5lb bags, I’m talking more like 25lb size. When it is the staple for every meal, you go through a lot. Sugar as well is sold in very large quantities.

I find myself wandering these markets buying 2 bananas or an orange at a time. It is just an excuse to get out, walk around and see what’s going on. There is an outdoor flea market as well, but I can’t seem to find anything to buy except tights or panties for Veronika. I have made friends with another couple that arrived last week from Belgium, so that’s great having some company to take walks and have conversation with. I have spent a lot of time with my coordinator, Habiba and her family and have grown extremely fond of all of them and their lifestyle. Last night I found myself baby sitting for her kids, and had such a fun time dancing to Russian MTV. I broke out the video camera and will have a fun clip to edit of all of us. Yes I am having some wonderful random moments and my days are flying by, caring for Veronika is keeping me extremely busy, I had forgotten how consuming a two year old could be.

On Sunday we will leave Arkalyk. Our adventure will begin at 6pm when we get on the 15-hour train to Astana. Once we arrive we will have Vikka, our local Astana coordinator, meet V and I to take us to the airport. Our flight is two hours and I think we will have a 2-3 hour wait in the airport before take off. We already have dinner plans for that evening with another American family. I will tell you more about them after I have met them.

I so look forward to reuniting with Tom and being in a new place. Veronika looks at the phone and says Papa; she knows he’s out there. I also show her pictures of sister Aidan all the time and tell her about the rest of the family. I wonder if she is really taking it all in or not.

Happy Birthday Bubba

2007-10-14T14:02:00.001-04:00

I am sending a big shout out to say hello and Happy Birthday to my Bubba Esther. Today is her 94th year and I wish I was there celebrating with her. I am in spirit - I love you and hope you are having a wonderful party at Gail's house. Aidan, give Bubba kisses and hugs for me.

2007-10-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

Who To Be=How To Be

2007-10-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

This experience of being with Veronika is earth-shattering and humbling in so many ways.

For those that know me, I think you will agree that I have always needed a certain amount of order to the way things flow, and in dealing with Veronika I realize I need to let go, let my guard down and let her "be" for a bit longer.

She is a typical, occasionally-wild 2 year old, who is also so uncertain of her new surroundings and is trying to please her mom by being the adorable child she is, but then she also slips into the child who wants what she wants and is afraid to let go of whatever the object of her affection is. When this happens she gets agitated very quickly and I in turn need to remind myself that there will be times when I need to discipline her and times for indulgence and for now I mostly need to comfort this child, even though it might seem like I am giving in to her temper. I say this because when I see her look of fear and lack of understanding, language or reason there is no consoling her. Her rage and fear needs to be tamed by unconditional love. I think – and I know some will disagree – go for it. It is so trying, and sweet at the same time.

I think Veronika and mommy are learning a lot from one another. I have to remind myself that this is going to take some time and for now we are really doing well. My routine and schedule here is somewhat minimal as compared to what I prefer having, which is more like hectic chaos, so I have time than I'd have if I were going through this at home to think and reflect about all these experiences.
Soon I will be home saying what a wonderful, peaceful time I had in that small village of Arkalyk, Kazakhstan.

Just one funny thought I had about this tiny village – all the young kids walk by me and are so pleased to say "Hello, how are you?" They are learning English and surprisingly they know I speak it (the rumor is out....she's American-- the only one for miles), and I am seen walking everyday – I think I may pass the same kids or it is just so obvious who I am. Anyway, they are afraid to be seen talking to me, they just want to quickly say hello and run away. What a shame, it would be nice to know more about them.

24/7

2007-10-11T13:06:00.000-04:00

It was our first 24 hours together and it was a great day. When Veronika awoke, a bit earlier then I had planned, I had her cuddle with me in my bed for a while longer and I think she enjoyed that.

Then it took me 3 tries to please her with breakfast. I thought maybe a raisin bun with a lot of butter would be a fun alternative to what she has been used to, but she did not like that at all. So I made a scrambled egg, that seemed to amuse her, but I saw she was still looking for something. I had the ingredients for the oatmeal-sugar-milk concoction they call porridge here and that is what she loves and wanted. After a big bowl she was satisfied.

Onto our next activity – OK, I won’t bore you with every detail of the day, just the highlights. We took a long walk on a beautiful day, the leaves are all golden and the air is brisk. We found a swing and Veronika loved sitting on my lap, swinging back and forth and singing songs. We both had our own song to sing and neither of us understood each other’s words but we spent a long time just enjoying the moment.

I think she has also become more trusting of me, because the nap and sleep thing is not as difficult as I worried about. Last week Tom and I had some difficult times trying to get her to nap. What am I worried about, right? I am already a mom and feel like a pro at it. Either that or I am going to be blessed with another angel.

All in all she had fun just roaming around the apartment doing what ever she wanted and we got along just fine.

This evening I entertained a Belgian couple who arrived today and it was really nice to sit with other English speaking people and have conversation.
Tomorrow evening will be another one of Khabiba’s dinner parties.
My days are full with Veronika and I keep telling myself we are almost there, so close.

I can hardly wait to be back home with Aidan, Tom and Veronika.

PartyDay

2007-10-10T11:09:00.000-04:00

Today was Veronika’s last day at the orphanage. We kept referring to it as Party Day, but it really
did not feel like a party at all. It was hardly festive. I arrived with cakes for all the caretakers and for all the kids juice boxes and Kinder chocolate eggs. The kids sat at their tables eating, without a word amongst them. A few minutes later I was told it was time to get Veronika dressed in her new clothes in the hallway, outside the room. Once she was dressed I tried to bring her back in the room but she resisted, more like wouldn’t budge. So we stayed in the doorway and the kids all ran up to her to say goodbye and some wanted to give her hugs, she didn’t seem to want any of it. Then I watched the two caretakers say their goodbyes and I got so emotional. I gave them hugs and thanked them for all the care they gave her and we left. It all happened so quickly it barely existed.

That is all I feel like saying about the day. It was more emotional then I had realized it would be.

This picture of Veronika was from this morning and will be her last portrait from the yard of the Arkalyk orphanage.

I will report more tomorrow from our first day together.........I will say she enjoyed her bath this evening, freaked out over her pajamas, then finally gave up trying to take them off and fell asleep like an angel.
Albina, the director of the orphanage (picture -woman with white hair) was kind enough to allow us to bring Veronika's bed from the orphanage to the apartment to use while we remain here in Arkalyk.

Cheteeree?

2007-10-10T00:47:00.001-04:00

I’ve now arrived in Almaty and settled in at the Grata Law Firm, the largest home-grown law firm in Kazakhstan. More on that and the city itself after I’ve settled in.

The trip here was very smooth, other than the first fifteen minutes of the train ride from Arkalyk to Astana. I wrote this a few hours later during the train ride although it’s taken me a few days to post it…

The train care has compartments along most of one side of the car and a long corridor down the other side, with windows all along the corridor with a railing to stand at for some fresh air (until you start to smoke, if you’re from Kazakhstan. I was standing at a window a few doors down from the door to my compartment as the train pulled out of Arkalyk, watching the town fade in the distance. I should explain that the compartment has four long seats, two on either side as you enter, one about five feet above the other. These seats double as beds to sleep on and are intended to be used by four people, although it seems that some a couple of compartments had 8 or 10 people in them.

As I was about to go back to my compartment and get settled in I saw a man go into my compartment and sit down. Older guy, salt and pepper moustache. He looks at me, points around the cabin and says cheteeree? (four?) [ed. note: I’m using transliterations throughout this entry, apologies to the Russian language]. I say "da, cheteeree" (yes, four). He says "cheteree?” again. I say "da, cheteree billets" (yes, I have four tickets). All friendly but it's clear he wants to sit in my car, which I might have been OK with in the States for a while but I lack the Russian skills to tell him that’s it’s only temporary until I want to go to sleep. He starts talking, fast and I break into a good couple of "ya ne pineemiyus" (I don’t understand) and he gets it and leaves.

Then, not two minutes later the conductor comes around to collect tickets and she says "cheteeree?" Here we go again with the four thing. I say "da" (yes) and she says "da" but resignedly but gives me my four ticket stubs and then five seconds later she comes around with the sheets to use when it’s bedtime in bags and wants to give me 4. Here’s where it all goes wrong. I put up one finger and say "adin" (one). She says "cheteree, nyet?" (four, no?) with the raised eyebrows and everything. I say, "ok, dva" (ok, two) thinking maybe I want an extra blanket. But she says "cheteeree" very definitively” and I say "ok" like maybe I'm supposed to just take the four to avoid it becoming an issue but then she takes two back and leaves.

Two minutes later I hear her speaking with another conductor as I was about to open the door to get some fresh air. She's talking to the older, beefy male conductor whose got the starched uniform with the stars on his epaulets. I say, really friendly in English "OK, I'll take cheteeree if it’s easier" and she hands the two extra sets of bedding to me and closes the door. Two minutes later big cheese conductor is back knocking on the door to the compartment. He enters and puts his hand out to shake mine, which I do, and he says "kahk dee la?" (how’s it going?) I blank for a second then say "karashow, spahseeba" (fine, thanks) and he says "da." Then he points to the stars on the epaulets and says something I don't understand but I presume he's telling me he's the big cheese conductor because he points to either end of the train a couple of times. Then he says "cheteeree?" “Again with the Cheteeree” I thought and couldn’t help smiling.

[As they say in Kazakhstan, I shall explain to you. This whole thing brought to mind a very funny Saturday Night Live skit from many years ago. Don Rickles was the host and in a skit very early on in the program in which he and Dan Ackroyd were supposed to play slap each other a couple of times but I think that Rickles hit Ackroyd a little too hard on the last one because Dan looked like he was about to get mad and then blew it off. It turns out that they were both in another skit later in the program and in a middle of the dialogue out of nowhere Ackroyd reaches out and slaps Rickles really hard. It was a complete non-equator but Rickles tried to be a real pro, he never blinked, looked right at Ackroyd and said “Again with the slaps? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time? At which point they both lost it and the director cut to a commercial. Now, every time something comes back around that I thought was concluded I think to myself “Again with the slaps?” and try not to laugh.]

Anyway, he says “cheteeree” again and I laugh and pantomime that I'm going to sleep with one arm on each top bunk and one foot on each bottom bunk. He laughs and points to the epaulets with the stars again. I'm thinking, does he want a little extra something "for some chocolate"? But I give him the "I'm just a dumb foreigner look" and he looks down and sees that I have my camera in my hands so he points to himself and says "photo, da?". And I say "da" and then he buttons his top button and I take his picture and then he points to the two extra sets of bedding and then to the blue denim bag the other conductor had been pulling the sets from earlier and he looks up and down the corridor and points to the bag and now I'm really confused. Does this mean that I'm supposed to put the extra sets in the bag now? Later after the corridor is clear so no one knows I don’t have four people in here? Have I disturbed the order of the universe? Anyway, he sweeps his arm across the window opposite my compartment door and says, proudly- "Kazakhstan". I say "da" he says "devai" (cheers) and pantomimes that I should take pictures and walks away. I saw the most amazing sunset as I wrote this and thankfully didn’t hear the word “cheteeree” for the rest of the night.

On a final note, I just wanted to send my wife a shout out in Arkalyk, it’s a huge day for our family and I’m really proud of her and of Aidan for being such a good, happy girl while we’re gone. It’s impossible to say thank you too many times to our family and friends for all the help love and support you’ve all shown to get us to this day. We’re almost home.

Another Day

2007-10-09T11:46:00.000-04:00

I have had a busy two days here in Arkalyk ……

Monday I had Veronika for most of the day and she really seems to like this new apartment. I give her free reign to run around all the rooms and there is something for her to be amused by in every corner. When we are in the kitchen, there are magnets to move from one side of the fridge to the other. She is absolutely taken with the flush of the toilet and loves to wash her hands at the sink and drink the water. The family that we have rented this flat from for the next few weeks has a little girl so they left toys behind and we don't know what to play with first.

I went with Khabiba and assorted family members to the Muslim Cemetery on Monday afternoon to visit the gravesites of her mother and brother. Her mother was a teacher and it was a teacher's holiday so she wanted to leave roses by her side. In the Muslim tradition they bury the person with a tombstone and then surround a fairly large area with either a brick structure or fencing, depending on how elaborate the family wants to be.

We then went to get Khabiba's daughter from school, which was a treat to see all the school kids in the yard, jumping rope and generally having fun.

Today we ran around, shopping the various markets for food and then went and get Veronika for a few hours. She had her first official play date with 2 children not from the orphanage here at our apartment. I returned her early today because we needed to go to the health clinic to have Khabiba's young daughter checked out. She seemed perfectly fine to me – but I was told she had a cough when she awoke and they needed to confirm her health. Then off to the Bauxite company's medical building where Khabiba and I had 30 minute massages each. (Price approx: $3.00) It was the most painful experience I can recall, very hard hands, but I do feel good right now, actually I take that back (ha)– my shoulders were fine going in and now they are very sore. We were told we both need some work and we are scheduled for 30 minutes each for the next few days. It was my idea so I can hardly complain.

I also went shopping for Veronika today because tomorrow will be her last day at the orphanage and I wanted her to leave with a new jacket, hat (yes hat) and shoes. I am planning a party in the afternoon for all the kids in Veronika's group and caretakers. I really look forward to seeing this day happen and the start of our life together. Veronika is getting less needy and more trusting, today was the first day I was able to walk her back to the orphanage without picking her up or strolling her, she was happy to walk holding hands, just like how Aidan and I do it.

I can't wait to have each daughter on my side. Soon Aidan, soon. We're getting there...

Party pictures tomorrow!

It’s Potty Time

2007-10-07T10:38:00.000-04:00

I couldn’t resist taking these photos and hope no one is offended.
I think they are so sweet and it is unbelievable how they are all trained to go at certain times with, as I am told, no accidents in between.

I will say that when we have Veronika with us we do give her a sippy cup filled with juice and wa ter (warm, of course, they believe that, we should only put warmth into our bodies). Veronika is so thrilled to have her own cup with the freedom to enjoy juice at all times, we also now have the issue of needing the potty all the time. File this one under good problems to have.

Love At First Sight

2007-10-04T11:14:00.000-04:00

This is what the label on my new jacket reads.

Aunt Baccha left our flat today after she served us lunch and returned some time after to deliver a jacket she’d picked up at the market from a friend who has a coat stall to see if I wanted to buy it. She has heard my cough, which really doesn’t sound very good and knows how cold it is and will continue to get in the next few weeks.

What do you think? I love it and love the fact that she was so thoughtful and caring to do this and I’ve quickly come to learn that she is right about most things here.

Of course, I bought it before I read the label, which is worth hearing verbatim:

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Environmentalistic and Healthy All the raw materials and subsidiary materials of RED OCEAN strictly accord with international standards, among which, filler products and fur are specially processed with antibiotics, and tested by authoritave department, which ensure RED OCEAN products safe and environmentalistic. The PH of the material for making the outside and the lining accords with the sanitary standard of human skin the content of heavy metal is lower than that in human drinking water the content of formaldehyde doesn’t exceed the standard of cosmetics textiles are forbidden AZO – colorants.
WOW – that’s all kind of scary – I much prefer to hear, natural fibers, or 100% Polyester fill or OK I’ll admit it - 100% Down would be my choice but what’s a girl to do.

Reading this label makes me laugh, but wait, there’s more…………

WASH & PRESERVE Cleaning: Clean the dirt with the plain white cloth dipped in pure gasoline or detergent. Miscellaneous: Read carefully the instructions on the tag before you wash. Otherwise you’ll have to answer for the damage caused by carelessness.

There you have it – I’m glad I read the label and hope I do not need to clean this thing or answer for any consequences, and dare not think too much about its contents, for now I’ll just focus on its warmth and good looks.
Thanks Aunt Baccha!!

Special Delivery

2007-10-04T11:08:00.000-04:00

This story begins with first knowing how territorial Tom and I are about our laptops and that we keep buying clothes we didn’t pack but managed to bring two laptops so we could each use one. Tom and I are both Mac people but he’s been working on a firm loaner PC and I’ve been using the MacBook.

On day 2 here, after settling in we were ready to sign in using the telephone line when we realized that Apple has done away with its internal telephone modem and the Mac needs to use an external modem. What did Apple think – that dial-up is a thing of the past? I hated that I screwed up like that, but nonetheless it was over looked. So in hindsight it was good that we had two computers and when Tom has not been using it I was able to blog and email.

When Tom decided that he would work out of an office in Almaty, leaving this Sunday -- I almost panicked to think I wouldn’t be able to go online for a whole three weeks. I should mention that he did offer to switch with me because where he is going he will have high speed and I could work from his PC, but as you all know I am a snob about my Mac so we needed to find the Apple USB modem, which could be bought in any BestBuy in America for forty bucks. Tom did what he does and phoned one of his contacts in Almaty who found the one store there that had the modem. Of course, cash and carry only, which then made delivery an issue (KazPost could have gotten it to Arkalyk in three weeks).

So here’s how you get precious cargo from Almaty to Arkalyk in 2007: follow the bouncing ball: We asked Khabiba, who informed us that Aunt Baccha has a son who goes to school in Almaty who occasionally helps in these circumstances. We gave Baccha the money for the modem, plus money for the conductors of the trains between Almaty and Arkalyk. She deposited the money into her bank account and transferred it to him in Almaty, which he would use to make the purchase and send it along. He was going to give it to the conductor of the train from Almaty to Astana, who would give it to the conductor of the Astana-Arkalyk train for delivery here. Instead of doing that, he found a passenger on the train going the whole distance and paid her slightly less than the conductors’ fees for her assistance and it was on its way. Four days later Khabiba was scheduled to be at the Arkalyk station at 7:30 am for the train’s arrival and find this woman and retrieve my Mac modem. Anyway the hand-off did not happen as planned, but luckily Khabiba knew this woman and knew she would be at the stall she owned in the market when it opened at 10am and found her there. Of course, the woman wanted a little extra money “for some chocolate” which made up for the discount from the conductors’ fees but believe me, for this small plastic box she could have all the chocolate she wanted. So the story goes – I now have my external modem and will happily be working from my Apple Mac book – Yahoo! here I come.
A

It’s Official

2007-10-03T08:23:00.000-04:00

After some last minute drama in the hours leading up to our hearing time, we appeared today before a judge of the Arkalyk village court who granted our petition to adopt Veronika and to change her name to Veronika Rose Guida. We’ll report all the details later on, the apartment is starting to fill up with well-wishers and Aunt Bacha has been working on a special celebration dinner all day.

Speaking of Bacha, we may not have mentioned that in addition to being a great cook and a nurse at the hospital she is also one of the town fortune tellers. We felt some additional confidence going into the hearing because right before we left to go to Court she called us into the living room and showed us that she’d read the piles of peanuts she’d spread over the table and they showed her a successful outcome for the hearing.

Thanks for all the good luck messages in the past few days, we’ll be back with a longer entry tomorrow.

The Thrill is Gone

2007-10-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

I’m referring to the food.

From day one here we have had the pleasure of Aunt Baccha’s cooking. She is a dear woman who does not speak any English but we get by with the resources we have.

I have lost, temporarily, the choice of what and when I eat and for that reason the thrill we normally experience with eating a meal is gone. I do not want to diminish how delicious it all is, but our enjoyment has started to feel like pure gluttony at this point.

We are served 3 meals a day. Big meals. Let me elaborate ………

Breakfast

Begins with a huge, hot bowl of mush-- either oatmeal, pastina, wheatina, purina, rice, corn, or barley. All made with boiled milk and sugar.

Then there is always bread & butter, sometimes a big plate of sliced salami and cheese on the table or 6-8 pieces of French toast instead, made from day old bread.

We have had fried eggs a few times as well.

Chai (tea) at every meal.

Lunch

Usually a hot bowl of soup with cabbage, potatoes, or barley and either chicken or beef thrown in. Then always another meat dish served over pasta, rice or barley. Each of us given a steaming plate that could easily serve both of us, with leftovers, and yet we usually finish our own plates because it’s so good.

A big plate of the tomatoes that Tom described yesterday at every meal, sliced with parsley, dill and salt.

Bread, again, a full plate.

Dinner

Is a continuation of lunch, usually a new dish of the same quantity as lunch, with additional elements like meat dumplings or fried Kazakh breads stuffed with potatoes or egg salad with herbs. All very delicious.

A lot of onions are used in everything and the most popular dish is a brown rice dish with shredded carrots, oil and meat – called “

For all the other epicurians out there –I am just amazed at how many different dishes and tastes are created with the same simple ingredients. Foodies in the US are always searching for new elements to add to enhance flavor – where here it is almost always the same: Cabbage, carrots, onions, garlic, eggplant, potato, pasta, barley, meat. The use of oil as essential. Fresh breads bought daily, and dough made every few days for the specialty dumplings and stuffed breads. A few versions of what they call fresh salad and we would call a "slaw," each of which starts with shredded cabbage and then different ingredients are added to make the different varieties.

As for snacks – there is always a bowl left on the table with dried fruits, nuts and chocolates. I think fresh fruit is more of a treat and specialty. We have had oranges, apples and pears. At a party we had the other night the neighbors brought a watermelon which was a treat and devoured by all.

By the way………Veronika loves raisins and bananas but could care less about cookies. Takes one bite and puts it down. When I told that to Aidan – her reaction was simply—after a long pause-- “whoa.” It was if she was shocked at the very thought. Let’s see how long this lasts.

Two Days Until Our Court Date

2007-10-01T08:54:00.001-04:00

We have prepared our petition for the Arkalyk court and have been prepped for the proceedings and suddenly I feel nervous. We really don’t think we have reason for concern, but I don’t think we’ll sleep well until it is over.

Our time here has gone by rather quickly and I hope to feel the same way in a few weeks from now when I am still here in Arkalyk waiting to go to the big city, Almaty. Who knows, perhaps the whole process can be a few days shorter and we can be home by the beginning of November.

Every day gets better with Veronika, we have a rhythm and it works. She is really cute and her personality comes out more and more every day. She is finally vocal and is babbling on in Russian with maybe even some words and baby talk in English mixed in. “V” is definitely starting to understand what I say to her in English and has begun testing me to get my attention.

Thankfully, we are getting out more to wander around and explore which makes me happy. There is not much to do when we go out to walk (much of which is along unpaved paths and dirt roads) but I am always the voyeur and curious about all the people we see. Unfortunately I have not really photographed the people out of respect for their privacy, I hope that when I am walking around with Veronika and Khabiba in a few weeks maybe some of the people will let me take their pictures.

The children go to school in uniforms, the girls’ look like little French maids with white doily lace aprons covering little black dresses and the boys all seem to wear shiny blue suits. There are many babushkas out shopping in the classic garb of house dress and head scarf you would imagine.

Then there are the teenagers, all of them stylish with the girls in designer jeans and high heel pumps despite the dirt roads. All of the women take pride in their wardrobe, they wear a lot of black, and are stylish in a dressed-up way that is such a contrast to the simple life that is led here. There is a definite pride that people take in knowing they can dress well, have a family car, put meat on the table and entertain and host friends and family--the simple necessities and pleasures that should not be underestimated.

All in all we are well, happy and excited for all that has happened here thus far. Any attempts to grasp what our life will be like at home with Veronika seem surreal while we’re still in Arkalyk. We can’t wait to get home and introduce Veronika and Aidan and watch that relationship develop—this has been my dream and thrill, for the two girls to bond and be sister soul-mates.

Saturday

2007-09-29T10:03:00.000-04:00

First of all, Happy Half Birthday AIDAN!! Mommy and Daddy miss you very much and can’t wait to see you.

Today is officially the last day of our bonding period, I think we both feel at alternating moments as if we arrived a second ago and have been here for months. Our court hearing is this Wednesday the 3^rd and barring any issues I’ll take the train to Astana next Sunday the 7^th and then a morning flight to Almaty on the 8^th where I’ll be using an office I’ve borrowed from a law firm there. Allyson will stay in Arkalyk and she and Veronika will travel to Almaty at the end of the month where we will take care of the US embassy processing and head home.

A few things to report from Arkalyk, the first one being our first encounter with Kazkahstan-style medical treatment. Veronika’s cold got worse in the middle of the week, and we were told she’d arrive late to the apartment on Wednesday because she had a fever overnight and was getting her “treatments.” When she arrived around noon that day her face was flushed, her shirts (they dress them in three, typically) soaked, her hair wet and we discovered that she’d gotten a shot of some kind. She just wasn’t herself the whole day, didn’t want Allyson to hold her, didn’t want to nap or eat. She totally lost it when we tried to change her out of her wet clothes or put her down for a nap, and it took almost the whole afternoon for her to return to normal. When we asked about her “treatments” we were told that she’d been given a steam under a hood, which sounded scary but OK for a head cold and a shot containing more narcotics than a linebacker gets for a hip injury--as the saying goes, when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. She’s a lot better now but I wonder how many days shorter her cold would have been without the treatments.

In other news, the sheep has found a temporary home. If I’ve got the story straight, Khabiba has a distant cousin who has a niece by marriage who was recently married, and this cousin is obligated by tradition to host a big dinner for the newlyweds in a few weeks (it’s a big Kazakhstan tradition, during which the cooked head of the sheep is presented to the guest of honor, who then cuts symbolic pieces off the head and gives them to other family members—the children get the ears so they’ll listen to their parents, etc.). When she heard that the price of the sheep had dropped to $50 due to low demand she called Khabiba and asked to borrow the purchase price so she wouldn’t bring dishonor on the family.

We’ve been out and about a lot more. I can handle most simple transactions at the market, we took a walk through the park to photograph the rusted-out Ferris wheel and I was asked politely but firmly to leave the Russian Orthodox Church during midday mass. It wasn’t my fault, it was impossible to see until I was several steps in that other than the priest all of the other worshippers were women.

We don’t need to buy much given the homecooked meals but to give you a sense of the cost of living here, a 750ml bottle of good Russian or Kazakhstan beer costs 120 Kazakhstan Tenge ($1), a 750ml bottle of water costs 250 Tenge ($2), a 750 ml bottle of vodka at least as good as the Stolichnaya we’d get at home costs 400 Tenge ($3.33) and a pair of essentially authentic addidas gloves cost 600 Tenge ($5). We also found the last two bottles of Diet Coke in Arkalyk. We had a small dinner party at our apartment last evening (which kept growing as the night went on) and Allyson made her famous bread and tomato salad for the group, which went over well. The tomatoes here are the best I’ve ever eaten. Many of you have heard me wax poetic about the oddly-shaped, multicolored heirloom tomatoes that show up in the greenmarket for a brief but glorious (there I go again) period during the summer, and that’s what the tomatoes all look like here and they’re all out of this world. They eat as many as they can, make sauce out of the rest, which they can and store in their cellars, and wait for the new season next September.

Yes, this is a photograph of Veronica texting. No, I have not been using my blackberry when she's around. I swear.

That’s about all for now, thanks again for the emails, they’ve been great.

Friends

2007-09-26T05:33:00.000-04:00

I just spent an hour looking through my iPhoto library and reviewing my last year of photos and was struck by the rich, exciting life we lead. I must say we had an action-packed year, shared with some really good friends and family.

I thought I would now share some of Veronika’s friends from the orphanage with you and some of our new friends from Arkalyk as well. Everyone has been so kind to us and we are relaxing a bit now that we are confident Veronika is doing well and our court date is just around the corner.

The dinner party pictures are from a dinner we were invited to attend on Monday evening to celebrate the birthday of Marina, the orphanage doctor. We had a really nice time and the language barrier seems non-existent, Khabiba translates as we go but a lot of our communication is hand gestures (we are New Yorkers, after all) and facial expressions. Of course, there were the mandatory rounds of toasts and vodka shots, we held our own this time and are starting to really understand why others who’ve been here feel such an attachment to Arkalyk and the people.

More tomorrow, it’s cold and rainy here and we have Veronika in the flat today, she’s got the same cold as the others so we’re doctoring her up and enjoying her anyway.

Should I stay or should I go......

2007-09-24T05:55:00.000-04:00

Update/Schedule

Today Monday, September 24th is day 10 of our mandatory two week bonding period.

We have a confirmed court date for Wednesday October 3^rd at 3pm. The judge will give her decision by the end of that day. We are reasonably confident that we will have no issues to get in the way of this process and our petition to adopt Veronika will be granted by the court.

Once the court date has passed there will be a two week notice period and then approximately two more weeks for paperwork and Veronika’s final papers and passport will be complete for her to leave Arkalyk, Kazakhstan. After the notice period her adoption will be final and she can leave the orphanage for good and stay here in the apartment with us. After these four weeks pass we will then go to Almaty to the American Embassy for medical clearance and review before being able to depart the country. So we are thinking it is early November at this point.

Many families leave after the court date and come back to Almaty a month later to go through the embassy procedures with their child. Meanwhile the child stays in the orphanage in Arkalyk the whole time you’re gone and arrangements are made to have the child escorted to meet you in Almaty. Doing it this way would mean that one or both of us can go home and spend time with Aidan while the paperwork is processed.

We’re weighing the ability to break up the time away from Aidan and the fact that Veronika has only known the orphanage so she will continue to be with all the people she knows already vs. the ability to let her leave that life as soon as possible and get some solid, 24/7 bonding time in during some or most of the 3-4 weeks we’ll need to wait out until we can finally leave Arkalyk and begin to head home.

This is the decision of the day – Is Tom going to Almaty after court to work out of an office there, will he head back to New York and then meet us in Almaty? Shall I stay or will I go….

Stay tuned for our decision in the next day or so.

Sunday

2007-09-24T05:40:00.000-04:00

Sunday was a really nice day, all in all.

We had our morning visit with Veronika out in the yard at the orphanage and the repetitive nature of our visits, I believe, are comforting to her as they are to all two-year olds, who enjoy the predictability of having the same toys and games to play with from one day to the next. I will say that when it’s time to go back into the orphanage with her group, she does not resist at all, she actually goes straight in to join them, just a quick turn to wave and off she goes.

By the way…..the hat – not my idea, she is attached to this thing and it is very special to her. I bought her a new one, but she freaks out when I try to put it on her – so for now the purple hat will remain. I will work on the switch soon enough but it is cold for her so she really needs something on her head.

Our afternoon started with the Arkalyk Museum first and Khabiba was a very knowledgeable guide who has clearly given this tour before. Then we went with Khabiba and her husband, Aidir for a drive out to the airport that has been closed for many years now. It’s a tradition in Arkalyk that they drive to the airport for special occasions, wedding pictures, or when visitors are in from out of town. It was a cool sunny day and we cruised out to the airport through this big sky country. It felt good to be out and about, taking pictures and having fun.

We stopped for another view on the top of one of hills made by the bauxite mining and for another tradition – cold beer and smoked cheese (it’s also their version of lovers lane). I had to take a picture of Tom on this hilltop, of course there we were and his blackberry rings. It was a client calling, in this case someone who Tom is also very close to personally who was just checking in to see how our trip is going. A really nice gesture and many of you have seen my series of Tom on the telephone – soon to be a flip book.

Anyway – we are well. Had a good day. Missed the Sunday Styles section, Aidan of course and yes I admit it – Starbucks, but otherwise we are just great!

Anyone Care to Buy a Sheep?

2007-09-22T11:25:00.000-04:00

Before I get started, just a warning that this entry is really just an excuse to post some more pictures of Veronika. There’s not a lot to report--it’s our eighth day here, and the 60 minute excursion we took to the market today was our first time spent outside the confines of this apartment or the orphanage. Admittedly, we’re here for Veronika and not to sight-see but we’re both starting to feel a little cabin fever.

We’ve been fortunate that the weather has been cold and rainy the past few days and we had Veronika come to visit us in the flat again all day yesterday and this morning. Allyson’s description of our time with Veronika is below, while I spend a moment describing Arkalyk. A story we heard today gave me a good excuse to describe the town for you.

Arkalyk is a place of pretty strong contrasts, and feels like a model of 1950s, Soviet-style planned living (a portion of the Soviet space program was located near here for a long time). It does seem as if the Soviets stopped spending money on its upkeep fairly soon after it was built and Kazakhstan has only recently had the funds to fix it up, which is being done slowly. Half the buildings are bricked over and the cars all seem to be of Reagan-era (sorry, Gorbachev-era) vintage, but the people all dress stylishly, and unlike the period immediately pre- and post-independence in 1991, there are enough jobs and food for all. Still, the people are very tied to the land and the habits that helped them get by when Kazakhstan was part of the Soviet Union.

Anyway, we heard from Khabiba that a friend of hers had called to ask if she’d like to buy a sheep, which this friend had received as payment this afternoon for some work she’d done for someone in town recently. The sheep was living on the balcony of this friend’s apartment, and the friend wanted the use of the balcony back but didn’t need the mutton, having stocked up on her meat for the winter. Khabiba didn’t need the sheep, because she had gotten up at 5:30 this morning to buy meat from the market that sets up intermittently in the middle of town, and she figured that the 65 kilos (120 pounds) of meat she’d bought was enough to tide her family, her in-laws, and us over until the next time that the market, Brigadoon-like, was open for business. In fact, everyone that Khabiba’s friend knew had gone to the market and done the same thing, so the sheep went unsold and is probably peacefully sleeping on the balcony as we write this.

Now here’s Ally on Veronika…

Another delightful visit with Veronika. I must admit that the more time we spend with her at our flat the better. Every time we bring her back to the orphanage and see her in her group we just get sad for her. Maybe she is fine, it is really all that she has known and has been her world, friends and family, up until now. I’m sure she must be a bit confused with us, after all she hardly understands what we are saying to her in English and the handful of Russian praises and phrases we have don’t go very far. Somehow we all get by and today we actually made her laugh – we heard her giggle and it was so much fun. Veronika is fairly silent, she mumbles a few words, but she mostly does not speak. We will work on that and maybe even get some help once we get home. I’ve already been thinking that it will be very easy to find a Russian-speaking woman back in Brooklyn who can come to our home and speak to Veronika and help us transition better. I saw woman because really that is what she has known in the orphanage--there do not seem to be many men around. She is fascinated with Tom’s unshaven face and Adam’s Apple, she loves to be held by him while she puts her hand on his throat and feels it move when he speaks (she continues to check my neck on a daily basis to see if I have developed one as well). It has only been a week since we met Veronika, it’s amazing how connected we feel already.

By the way, a couple of people have asked, we will be keeping her name, and adding “Rose” as her middle name in honor of both of our grandmothers. Until next time, keep the comments and emails coming, we enjoy getting them and miss you all.

A bath!

2007-09-20T11:33:00.001-04:00

Today was my best day yet. It was a cold rainy morning and Khabiba called to say she would bring Veronika to us today because the indoor playroom was still not available, and we could spend the entire day at the flat with her. When Veronika arrived she was so happy to be here and we had a great morning just playing with toys on the floor. We then had our first meal together and I will say she enjoyed every last bit of it. We will gradually give her some new ideas on manners but for now I would say she was adorable about the way she attacked the food if it didn’t provide so much insight into what her life has been and conditions at the orphanage. We have so much to teach her and so much to undo at the same time.

We put her down for a nap after lunch and she was so content to relax and just be with us. It was truly the first time that I was able to feel a real connection to her as I rubbed her back and she fell sleep.

When she awoke I finally did what I have been waiting for……a bath!! She absolutely loved it. I was thrilled to be washing her and getting the grime off her tiny little body. I gave her the full treatment of a lavender baby cream massage and she was in awe of this treatment and I felt so happy to be pleasing this child who needs and deserves this. I put fresh clothes on her and we all hung out for another few hours just being mellow and having a very comfortable day. By the way….I did not wash her hair – please note the hair-do was done by the caretakers and I decided not to change it for I believe that was done especially for us.

When I brought her back to the orphanage, her group was still in the yard playing and I went in to be with them for a while and I was able to see the hierarchy and dynamics of the children and now understand what happens to Veronika. They all circled her and some were hugging her and happy to see her, two of the boys started pulling at her hat and once it was removed started tugging at her hair and she just stood there helpless and silent. I watched for a moment to see what would happen before I started to point my finger and say “nyet, nyet” – which the whole group of course immediately repeated after me and copied my wagging finger – amusing, huh? Well at that moment I felt so sad for the life she has known. She wanted me to pick her up and I knew that the best thing was not to, and instead to just walk away from this crowd until they all settled down, but really I wish I could have taken her out of there at this point and felt completely helpless for this little angel.

I left soon after and thought that I do not doubt for a moment what we are doing for this little girl is the right thing. Khabiba saw what had happened and she was able to understand my reaction and mood and decided to walk with me back to our flat, first stopping at the sweets shop to pick up some desert for us to enjoy. She stayed to eat dinner with us and we had a really nice time listening to her stories of Arkalyk and former Soviet times.

Another story….for another time.

2007-09-19T16:04:00.000-04:00

Is it Wednesday Already?

This is going to be a long entry but there’s a lot to catch up on, it’s nice to have fallen into a rhythm and we’re really enjoying our time with Veronika.

We’re now on day five of the bonding period and I can hardly believe that this is the same child who walked into the director’s office on Saturday afternoon, board-stiff with fright. Despite being a tiny little thing, when we arrive at the orphanage for our twice-daily visits Veronika forces her way to the front of the group of children crowded at the gate to the older children’s playground (when she’s not being escorted to the gate, arm-in-arm, by a few of her companions while she beams with pride that it’s her turn to have a mama and papa coming to visit her). Once one of the caregivers opens the gate she comes running to us with her arms wide open. She isn’t satisfied until we’ve both picked her up and spent a few moments saying hello. We then retire to a bench in the courtyard of the orphanage for our visit, as the music room that families normally visit in is being renovated.

Veronika learned very quickly that the toys we’ve brought for her to play with that day are always in the same pocket of our knapsack, and as soon as I’ve taken it off my back and put it down she’s opening the zipper and rummaging around. There are a few toys the she really enjoys playing with, and they’re always in there as well as a few others that we rotate. Bubbles are a big hit, as are wind-up toys and big beads to string, but the big winners have been a beach ball that she brings to me to blow up at the start of every visit so we can play catch, and some colorful stacking blocks.

We try to include a couple of walks around the courtyard in every visit, but she only makes it about 1/3 of the way around before she wants to be picked up, and can sometimes become inconsolable if she’s not. I wonder if she worries that we’ll keep walking out the courtyard gate without her, but we walked further around the courtyard today with her walking next to us than in we did yesterday, and we’ll keep at it if it helps her learn to trust us.

We were surprised at another way it appeared that her fear of us not sticking around manifested itself yesterday. She’s been wearing the red sweatsuit you see in the pictures every day that we’ve seen her, and Allyson had brought along a pink sweatsuit for her to change into. When Allyson tried to take the red sweatshirt off to change her, however, she started pushing away and made a horribly fearful noise; that same look of fear we’d seen in the director’s office came over her face and didn’t go away until we zipped the red sweatshirt back up and gave her a hug. Our coordinator Khabiba explained that she was dressed in the red sweatsuit by the caregivers especially because she is being visited by her new mama and papa, and that she may have translated efforts to remove it as a signal that we didn’t want to be her parents. Khabiba suggested that we leave the new clothes with the caregivers to put on Veronika in the morning, so that they can explain to her that her mama and papa asked her to wear them when they visit. This seemed to work and she wore her new pink sweatsuit today, proudly.

It’s still remarkable to see her open up and personality unfold a little more with each visit. Tuesday afternoon’s visit was the first time she really started to use her voice, she’d been pretty silent with us before that visit. We’d heard her speaking with the other children in her group on Saturday but she’s never used more than a word or two at a time with us or any of the other adults. This seems to be pretty common among children in orphanages, who don’t start speaking until there’s a strong level of trust, and we were very pleased to hear her voice for this reason. Now that she’s started vocalizing to us, she doesn’t use many words but lots of baby talk and when she does use a word it’s often the right one. A car starts loudly in the next yard and she says “machina” (“car”), if she doesn’t like something she pushes it away and says “nyet,” when we leave her in the evening she says “paka” (“so long”).

One final observation, Allyson has been putting moisturizer on Veronika's hands at every visit, which she absolutely loves and is very soothing to her. She's almost dainty in the way she rolls her heavy sleeves up and when she's not laughing (pictured) her eyes are glued to Ally's face during this ritual and I hope it's something that Aidan will take over when we get home.

I’m going to post this and head to bed, more tomorrow…

Our Day

2007-09-19T11:01:00.000-04:00

Tom is going to post shortly with our report on Veronika, so I'll post a few pictures until he does, and then let me try to describe to you what our days have been like. We wake early and are alone in our apartment to get dressed, drink tea and wait for Aunt Bacha to arrive and start cooking our 1^st meal of the day.

Each meal has 3 courses and has been delicious. I will certainly come home with a few additional pounds. I am not used to the quantity and or the variety of foods but I eat them happily and feel well taken care of in that respect. I shall blog later on “food”.

We are picked up after breakfast to go to the orphanage by our coordinator, Khabiba and her husband, who drive us over to the orphanage for our morning visit.

The weather has been fair and we have enjoyed being able to have our visits with Veronica outside while the workers are inside fixing windows before the winter comes. We brought a few simple toys and so far have been able to amuse Veronika and not yet tire her of our selection. When we see the other children in the yard, they seem content but without much stimulation or variety of toys to play with. We have not spent much time with the other children but will try to get more involved as time goes on. For now our efforts are all on Veronika and the bonding.

We are generally back to the flat by noon and await our next feast at about 1:00 pm. We then sit around in conversation and rest until our next orphanage visit from 4-6:00pm, then back to the house where dinner awaits. Bacha goes home for the day and we linger over our meal and discuss our day.

Now I should mention that the internet is painfully slow here with just dial-up access and guess what….my Mac laptop does not have a dial up modem so I am unable to use it. I never realized that would be an issue. So needless to say the two of us online with one computer at super slow speed is quite a shock to the system.

We have not ventured out in the neighborhood yet, but we are feeling the need to so. Tomorrow we will may go out and about during the afternoon and explore, or there is a new pool here in Arkalyk and Khabiba has promised to take us there if she has time.

Tom plans to work at night to the extent he can with the dial-up (his blackberry loses its data connection for hours at a time) so I will catch up on my reading at night.

We had a party at out flat last night to celebrate our formal decision to adopt Veronika. Our coordinator Khabiba, her husband and daughter and the doctor from the orphanage, Marina, her husband and daughter. Tom and I had just finished dinner when they all arrived and out came more food and VODKA. The way it worked was, Khabbiba started with a toast, then everyone drank their shot of vodka and ate some food, talked some more, the glasses were filled and the next person gave the toast, shots were knocked back, and the process was repeated several times. The Americans held their own but I missed the part about eating something after each shot, so I was a little rougher than most. On that note I will end for now and pick up again when I am feeling better.

It's Veronika!

2007-09-17T04:29:00.001-04:00

We appeared on Sunday for our first official visit, day 2, and Veronika was out in the yard playing with her group. When the other children saw us they escorted her to the gate for us to take her. She had such a proud smile on her face as she waived PAKA (good bye) to the children and we went off to a more private section to have our own play date.

It was a beautiful morning, cool and sunny and we enjoyed watching Veronika opening up and be inquisitive about what we would take out of the bag next to play with. She was basically amused with everything and wanted to be held by Tom as much as possible. I can tell already there is an immediate attraction. She and I are taking our time to warm up and for now that seems right for both of us. We had two visits, one hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. So far …..so good. Tomorrow is a big day when we meet and talk to the doctor of the orphanage about her medical records and such. More tomorrow but it looks like we're on our way...

First Impressions

2007-09-17T04:06:00.000-04:00

We arrived at the orphanage this afternoon and after meeting with the director and social inspector (social worker) were introduced to two boys, who seemed sweet but weren't right for us. They then brought in the tiniest two year old girl named Veronika, who was stiff as a board with fright. We'd been warned by others who had been in Arkalyk before us and met Veronika that this might be the case, but they each assured us that she in fact was a spunky, healthy, little girl with a bad case of stage fright.

It took only a few moments on the orphanage director's lap before Veronika slipped out of her grasp and started edging her way over to where Tom was sitting. She hesitated a moment before taking the piece of the toy he handed her and then retreated a few paces, before coming a little closer and taking another piece. Soon she was sitting in our laps and engaging with both of us. She was certainly wary, and she's not speaking much, but we both think with some good loving and personal attention she'll come into her own.

We have spent all these months in prep for this trip and now finally being in the moment it is way more monumental then I ever imagined. We have traveled across the planet to this very obscure region to visit an orphanage and have them show us several children; we are at their mercy to decide which one will be right for us and our family. What did I say in an earlier blog entry? That I will be very Zen about it all, well maybe so but when presented with the reality-- it is so hard. We know intellectually nothing is perfect except in our dreams when we imagine how things might be or how we can make them better. I think in this situation we are going to make a decision to help make things better for this adorable child and she in return will blossom into the daughter we have imagined for our family and sister for Aidan.

Arrival; Train Travels

2007-09-17T03:40:00.000-04:00

It’s about 9 o’clock and the glow of my laptop illuminates the inside of our sleeper compartment as the alt-country darling Rilo Kiley plays in my headphones, Allyson sleeps and the night train races across the steppes of Northern Kazakhstan from Astana to Arkalyk.

If you’d asked me in January to predict all of the words I might use in a sentence this year, I can assure you that “Kazakhstan” had a very low probability of being used, and the combination of that word with “our,” “train,” and “Arkalyk” would have required a slide rule, a white board and the transitive property to calculate its probability (I think that adding in any combination of the words “my,” “headphones” and any permutation of “country” also requires the application of the Coriolis Effect, but I’ll let the committee decide that).

All that being said, being on this train, 14 hours away from meeting our new child in the middle of these vast plains just after sunset seems somehow the most natural thing for us to be doing. It doesn’t even feel far away, although I’m sure that will change quickly as the days away from Aidan increase, but the getting here was a pretty smooth affair.

Our trip was easy, Lufthansa from JFK to Frankfurt overnight, which we both slept through after our essentially sleepless Tuesday night, after a four hour layover our second Lufthansa flight to Astana arrived on time at 10:40 pm. We were through passport control in about 5 minutes, barely glanced at by the customs agents and our Astana coordinator Victoria was waiting to meet us. Twenty minutes later we were in our hotel (I’ll post the name when I dig the receipt out of my bag but it wasn’t part of a US chain) which was pretty new, and very clean, within walking distance of banks, pubs and shops in the old part of town (including the Chelsea English Pub, which did garner a few swearwords under my breath in the name of Spurs supporters everywhere).

After breakfast we spent the day around Astana. Victoria took us to the bank to exchange some money and we hired a taxi to take us to the monuments in the new part of the city. Astana has only been the capital since 1997, and the amount of construction is remarkable. I don’t want to take battery power describing the buildings now but Wallpaper’s take on the architecture in April 2007 struck me as right on the money.

This is the first place we’ve been to where literally no one we’ve met (save for Victoria and our Arkalyk coordinator Habiba, who arrived in Astana today and who we will connect with back in Arkalyk on Monday) spoke English. Victoria and Habiba are lovely, and the people who we’ve asked for help in broken Russian/sign language are more than happy to oblige, but most of the people we’ve come across keep their cards very close to their chest. I am interested how the next six week shape our impressions of the people and culture here, particularly without the subtle nuances and shadings within conversations to guide us. I don’t think it will matter in the end, but let’s see.

I’m going to turn in and try to get some sleep. It’s pitch black outside, other than the occasional arc lights at roadway crossings and eerie glows on the horizon from what I assume are oil and gas works there’s nothing to obscure my view of the stars, which are brighter and more numerous than I ever remember seeing. I think we get robbed by the light in our cities twice. First, when it hides all but the brightest stars from view, and second, when it lightens the deep black background of those stars.

Tomorrow is a big day, we meet with the director of the orphanage and in all likelihood, the child we will bring home. Wish us luck. T

Arkalyk on the map

2007-09-06T23:40:00.001-04:00

Stop looking for it because you won't find it. I searched many maps and most do not show this town, so let me tell you: it is roughly in that wide open area they refer to as the Kazakh Steppe above the second A in Kazakhstan. We will arrive in Astana and our final departure will be from Almaty. So we will get to be in those two cities as well as our time in the Arkalyk region.

Leaving in less than a week

2007-09-06T01:46:00.001-04:00

Today was just one of those days........started with some last minute documents needing to be notarized, authenticated and tomorrow I will have them Apostilled. We then had our parents over for that Production meeting that went rather smoothly and sweet. We are leaving Aidan home to start Kindergarten and be cared for by her grandparents on alternating weeks. Aidan will miss us madly while being completely spoiled by both sets of parents. I don't doubt she will be just fine.
The BIG NEWS is that our travel plans have moved closer - seems we need to be in Arkalyk sooner then we thought. All for good reasons, so we are now considering a Lufthansa flight next Wednesday which will take us to Frankfurt, arriving Thursday morning - short lay over and we fly to Astana, Kazakhstan arriving about 11:00pm - spend the night and take that 15 hour train the next evening ( Friday) to Arkalyk.
We arrive just in time for a visit to the orphanage on Saturday afternoon.

We got our LOI

2007-09-05T01:50:00.001-04:00

The news came today. It is confirmed we are going to Arkalyk, Kazakhstan. Our Letter of Invitation was emailed to us with directions to get our visas done as soon as possible and go.

All that wait time to finally hear those words, "go" is like an absolute adrenalin rush.

I was overwhelmed with a sudden bout of nausea, possibly from all the details. I should mention that tomorrow we are having our parents over for "the production meeting" - until you actually sit down to record the details of how you run your home and what your child's needs are you will not understand what goes into it. I have eight pages of info for them to absorb.

I was also on the tele today trying to book us a flight - seems we might fly Austrian Air leaving Saturday September 15th overnight to Vienna, where we will have a 12 hour lay over (I will have to look into attractions in town for the day) before we travel overnight again to Astana, Kazakhstan. We will arrive early morning in Astana, spend the day and get on our next (3rd) overnight to the town of Arkalyk - this time it will be a 15 hour train ride.
You still with me here?..............the adventure begins.
She says with a great big sigh.
I will have more details once we talk to our coordinator tomorrow.

Baby Talk Crosses Cultural Line

2007-08-28T23:22:00.000-04:00

In today's New York Times, there was an article - about baby talk crossing cultural lines,and I was reassured that although I am learning my Russian it will be minimal at best - my baby just needs to hear baby talk voice and will be responsive and understand.
Research from this study showed that baby talk in any language can be universally understood. "This is the first empirical demonstration that in a nonliterate, nonindustrialized indigenous culture, people are able to recognize meaning in a language they do not speak...There is variability across cultures in how much people talk to babies, but when they do, they tend to sound very much alike".

Perfect timing for us - we've heard how quickly children pick up a new language and this helps confirm that - maybe we'll lay off the Russian lessons a little.

Expecting

2007-08-28T22:54:00.000-04:00

I just realized that it is 6 months from the time we signed with the agency to hearing about what region we will travel to - and looking forward can anticipate being home in 3 months from now with our daughter. A 9 month process.......hmm familiar and very similar in feelings. My father actually said to me, that I was carrying really well and I laughed and thought that in this stage of expecting I was looking and feeling good. I know I can't help myself feeling bubbly with excitement for all this crazy travel and adventure to find our child.

Arkalyk

2007-08-27T21:36:00.000-04:00

Here's a description of Arkalyk from the town's home page:

The city is located in the steppe of central Kazakhstan and is surrounded by man-made hills of tailings, an immediate sign that this is a mining community. Like many other areas in Kazakhstan, the Arkalyk region is surrounded by natural resources. Trees are very rare and resources are not so obvious . . . there is coal underground and fish in the rivers.
Arkalyk suffers from its remote location, far from the centers of Kazakhstan, the airport is inoperative now and next large city is 15 hours away by train. The bauxite mining operation remains the city's largest employer of citizens even though the raw material is shipped to a different city for processing into aluminum.

A city of miners, of regional administrators, and people excited to live in a regional center. Perhaps it is like many cities in the former Soviet Union, with an identity crisis developed through the self-destruction of the communist state. But through the transition many people have remained, and the Arkalyk region is home to about 40,000 people.

Sometimes it becomes more pleasant to remember the role of the city in the past, the so-called "space port" of the Soviet/Russian space programs. Cosmonauts returning from their missions landed near Arkalyk, and special recovery teams would rush into the steppe and bring them to their hero's welcome in Arkalyk.
Not all of Arkalyk's good times are in the past. The people are real and continue to breathe life into the city and often speak of the past but continue to work as best they can for the future.

We got the call

2007-08-25T21:01:00.000-04:00

Friday 4:30pm the agency called to say that it looks like our dossier will be chosen to go to a particular region in Kaz and there are a few children there for us to see with some assorted details and that she will know more and we'll talk again in a week when our caseworker comes back from her vacation. WOW! It was a lot of info and yet very little in the scheme of things, so there I was off and running into the www abyss to find out anything I could on this region.
I am not completely at liberty to discuss the details until it is completely final.
first I should start with this is probably the most remote area in Kazakhstan that could have been chosen for one of the most cosmopolitan couples. The only way to get to this area is once we arrive in country to take a 15 hour train out there. That is after we have taken 3 flights to get us to the country. The journey truly begins......I love the idea of a train ride, as long as I can see some country side before night fall. I will have more details on travel next week.
I have been able to talk to some other families and hope to get as familiar with what to expect as possible. I have heard the children are really well cared for and mostly healthy. I just can't wait for more details so we can book our flights. Tom is also in the process of figuring out how on earth he can stay connected to work with only a dial up line and no internet cafes to be found. There aren't any hotels either for that matter, we will be staying in an apartment and have someone cook all of our meals. More details on location later.

The big decision......

2007-08-11T13:09:00.000-04:00

Everyone keeps asking us about the process of choosing our child once we get to the orphanage and how on earth does one do that. We chose to go this route and embrace the idea. I do believe what is meant to be will be and we will just feel it in our hearts, that is why I am trying to be very zen about the process and look forward to that day. This waiting game is the hardest but the unknown always is - so therefore, I take a deep breath and just know we will meet our daughter shortly.

Post Placement Reports

2007-08-02T10:32:00.001-04:00

There are conflicting reports about particular regions being closed down because of a fairly new ruling that families who adopt children from Kazakhstan must comply with a post placement report until the child reaches 18 years old. We have already paid in advance for the initial four year reports with our home study agency. This was a required document in our dossier. Because this is a new requirement there are families that have adopted in the recent past that are either not aware of this ruling or do not feel this applies to them.

What is most unfortunate is that there are children waiting to be placed in loving homes and families like ourselves that are anxiously awaiting this opportunity and we are being held up by this process.

This is an e-mail from the Embassy about Karaganda...

"Karaganda region is closed since spring of 2007 due to the missing
post-placement reports about the previously adopted children. The
Embassy is working on contacting the adoptive parents and the
adoption agency to obtain the missing reports. Kazakhstani
authorities promise to open the region only after all the reports are
submitted."

Best regards,
Consular Section
U.S. Embassy Astana, Kazakhstan

I hope that other regions do not close their doors as well, and that Karaganda can accumulate the needed post placements to open the process up again so we can be invited to bring our child home.

Geography of Kazakhstan

2007-07-31T22:11:00.000-04:00

I pulled the following information from a pamphlet I received from the Kazakh Aul group. They are an association created to educate cultural needs of families with children from Kazakhstan. Tom, Aidan and I went to an event they had in NYC this past spring and met some other families there. Anyway, what I wanted to share is -where is Kazakhstan....

The Republic of Kazakhstan is a large country that encompasses three time zones and has a population of fifteen million people. It borders Russia to the north and west, China to the east, and Kyrgystan, Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan to the south.

The Kazakh people have a long and rich history of nomadic traditions over many centuries.... Despite the hardships engendered by Soviet domination, the strong Kazakh spirit persevered, and the young country actively supports the wonderful cultural traditions that are an inherent part of the Kazakh identity.

In addition, from another expat resource, one of the main riches of Kazakhstan is it's minerals. According to the world's leading scientists research shows that Kazakhstan occupies the sixth place in the world on it's stores of natural resources, which includes petroleum, gas, titanium, magnesium, tin, uranium, gold and other color metals.

Plant a Tree to offset Carbon Emissions

2007-07-31T21:32:00.000-04:00

I want to encourage everyone to help participate in a simple task to benefit our environment. In an effort to balance the carbon footprint for our flight and trip to Kazakhstan I would like to suggest everyone plant a tree.

Now doesn't that sound simple? Well, the fact is the average mature tree sucks up 48 pounds of carbon dioxide a year and releases enough oxygen to sustain 2 people.

Over the course of 50 years, a single tree can generate $31,250 of oxygen, provide $62,000 worth of air pollution control, recycle $37,500 worth of water, and control $31,500 worth of soil erosion.

To learn more about how simple it is to plant a tree. Visit The National Arbor Day Foundation

It doesn't take much to do and think of the benefits. If you want to learn more about ways to help save the environment you can check out the alliance for climate protection.

Greetings

2007-07-24T22:21:00.000-04:00

We created this site so we can share our experience throughout our adoption journey to Kazakhstan.

We are in the final stretch before hearing from our agency that our LOI (letter of invitation) is on its way. I am anxiously awaiting to hear what region has been chosen for us so I can feel more in control. As you know being a planner/producer and not being able to orchestrate all the details is just excruciating. With that said - I am truly looking forward to this trip and to bring home our new daughter.

Aidan

2007-07-02T22:49:00.000-04:00

Our beautiful 5 year old daughter Aidan Hannah is very excited about being a big sister. We are having fun talking about it and all the fun things to come. Life will be a little different for all of us with two kids around.

The hardest part of all this planning is the decision to keep Aidan home and travel with out her. We have discussed eighteen different versions of how to go and bring her and keep her home as well as one of us making it two trips and the other staying the duration - I will not bore you with the list but trust me they all work and they are all complicated puzzle pieces. We will not know until we (Tom and I) are there what the duration of the trip will look like. So continue to follow along and see what happens.