nd are so pleased to say "Hello, how are you?" They are learning English and surprisingly they know I speak it (the rumor is out....she's American-- the only one for miles), and I am seen walking everyday – I think I may pass the same kids or it is just so obvious who I am. Anyway, they are afraid to be seen talking to me, they just want to quickly say hello and run away. What a shame, it would be nice to know more about them. 
It was our first 24 hours together and it was a great day. When Veronika awoke, a bit earlier then I had planned, I had her cuddle with me in my bed for a while longer and I think she enjoyed that.
We found a swing and Veronika loved sitting on my lap, swinging back and forth and singing songs. We both had our own song to sing and neither of us understood each other’s words but we spent a long time just enjoying the moment.
sat at their tables eating, without a word amongst them. A few minutes later I was told it was time to get Veronika dressed in her new clothes in the hallway, outside the room. Once she was dressed I tried to bring her back in the room but she resisted, more like wouldn’t budge. So we stayed in the
doorway and the kids all ran up to her to say goodbye and some wanted to give her hugs, she didn’t seem to want any of it. Then I watched the two caretakers say their goodbyes and I got so emotional. I gave them hugs and thanked them for all the care they gave her and we left. It all happened so quickly it barely existed.
The trip here was very smooth, other than the first fifteen minutes of the train ride from Arkalyk to Astana. I wrote this a few hours later during the train ride although it’s taken me a few days to post it…
The train care has compartments along most of one side of the car and a long corridor down the other side, with windows all along the corridor with a railing to stand at for some fresh air (until you start to smoke, if you’re from Kazakhstan. I was standing at a window a few doors down from the door to my compartment as the train pulled out of Arkalyk, watching the town fade in the distance. I should explain that the compartment has four long seats, two on either side as you enter, one about five feet above the other. These seats double as beds to sleep on and are intended to be used by four people, although it seems that some a couple of compartments had 8 or 10 people in them.
As I was about to go back to my compartment and get settled in I saw a man go into my compartment and sit down. Older guy, salt and pepper moustache. He looks at me, points around the cabin and says cheteeree? (four?) [ed. note: I’m using transliterations throughout this entry, apologies to the Russian language]. I say "da, cheteeree" (yes, four). He says "cheteree?” again. I say "da, cheteree billets" (yes, I have four tickets). All friendly but it's clear he wants to sit in my car, which I might have been OK with in the States for a while but I lack the Russian skills to tell him that’s it’s only temporary until I want to go to sleep. He starts talking, fast and I break into a good couple of "ya ne pineemiyus" (I don’t understand) and he gets it and leaves.
Then, not two minutes later the conductor comes around to collect tickets and she says "cheteeree?" Here we go again with the four thing. I say "da" (yes) and she says "da" but resignedly but gives me my four ticket stubs and then five seconds later she comes around with the sheets to use when it’s bedtime in bags and wants to give me 4. Here’s where it all goes wrong. I put up one finger and say "adin" (one). She says "cheteree, nyet?" (four, no?) with the raised eyebrows and everything. I say, "ok, dva" (ok, two) thinking maybe I want an extra blanket. But she says "cheteeree" very definitively” and I say "ok" like maybe I'm supposed to just take the four to avoid it becoming an issue but then she takes two back and leaves.
[As they say in Kazakhstan, I shall explain to you. This whole thing brought to mind a very funny Saturday Night Live skit from many years ago. Don Rickles was the host and in a skit very early on in the program in which he and Dan Ackroyd were supposed to play slap each other a couple of times but I think that Rickles hit Ackroyd a little too hard on the last one because Dan looked like he was about to get mad and then blew it off. It turns out that they were both in another skit later in the program and in a middle of the dialogue out of nowhere Ackroyd reaches out and slaps Rickles really hard. It was a complete non-equator but Rickles tried to be a real pro, he never blinked, looked right at Ackroyd and said “Again with the slaps? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time? At which point they both lost it and the director cut to a commercial. Now, every time something comes back around that I thought was concluded I think to myself “Again with the slaps?” and try not to laugh.]
Anyway, he says “cheteeree” again and I laugh and pantomime that I'm going to sleep with one arm on each top bunk and one foot on each bottom bunk. He laughs and points to the epaulets with the stars again. I'm thinking, does he want a little extra something "for some chocolate"? But I give him the "I'm just a dumb foreigner look" and he looks down and sees that I have my camera in my hands so he points to himself and says "photo, da?". And I say "da" and then he buttons his top button and I take his picture and then he points to the two extra sets of bedding and then to the blue denim bag the other conductor had been pulling the sets from earlier and he looks up and down the corridor and points to the bag and now I'm really confused. Does this mean that I'm supposed to put the extra sets in the bag now? Later after the corridor is clear so no one knows I don’t have four people in here? Have I disturbed the order of the universe? Anyway, he sweeps his arm across the window opposite my compartment door and says, proudly- "Kazakhstan". I say "da" he says "devai" (cheers) and pantomimes that I should take pictures and walks away. I saw the most amazing sunset as I wrote this and thankfully didn’t hear the word “cheteeree” for the rest of the night.
On a final note, I just wanted to send my wife a shout out in Arkalyk, it’s a huge day for our family and I’m really proud of her and of Aidan for being such a good, happy girl while we’re gone. It’s impossible to say thank you too many times to our family and friends for all the help love and support you’ve all shown to get us to this day. We’re almost home.
I have had a busy two days here in Arkalyk ……
on Monday afternoon to visit the gravesites of her mother and brother. Her mother was a teacher and it was a teacher's holiday so she wanted to leave roses by her side. In the Muslim tradition they bury the person with a tombstone and then surround a fairly large area with either a brick structure or fencing, depending on how elaborate the family wants to be. 
official play date with 2 children not from the orphanage here at our apartment. I returned her early today because we needed to go to the health clinic to have Khabiba's young daughter checked out. She seemed perfectly fine to me – but I was told she had a cough when she awoke and they needed to confirm her health. Then off to the Bauxite company's medical building where Khabiba and I had 30 minute massages each. (Price approx: $3.00) It was the most painful experience I can recall, very hard hands, but I do feel good right now, actually I take that back (ha)– my shoulders were fine going in and now they are very sore. We were told we both need some work and we are scheduled for 30 minutes each for the next few days. It was my idea so I can hardly complain.
pe no one is offended.
ter (warm, of course, they believe that, we should only put warmth into our bodies). Veronika is so thrilled to have her own cup with the freedom to
enjoy juice at all times, we also now have the issue of needing the potty all the time. File this one under good problems to have.
wanted to buy it. She has heard my cough, which really doesn’t sound very good and knows how cold it is and will continue to get in the next few weeks.
apartment is starting to fill up with well-wishers and Aunt Bacha has been working on a special celebration dinner all day.From day one here we have had the pleasure of Aunt Baccha’s cooking. She is a dear woman who does not speak any English but we get by with the resources we have.
I have lost, temporarily, the choice of what and when I eat and for that reason the thrill we normally experience with eating a meal is gone. I do not want to diminish how delicious 
it all is, but our enjoyment has started to feel like pure gluttony at this point.
We are served 3 meals a day. Big meals. Let me elaborate ………
Breakfast
Begins with a huge, hot bowl of mush-- either oatmeal, pastina, wheatina, purina, rice, corn, or barley. All made with boiled milk and sugar.
Then there is always bread & butter, sometimes a big plate of sliced salami and cheese on the table or 6-8 pieces of French toast instead, made from day old bread.
We have had fried eggs a few times as well.
Chai (tea) at every meal.
Lunch
Usually a hot bowl of soup with cabbage, potatoes, or barley and either chicken or beef thrown in. Then always another meat dish served over pasta, rice or barley. Each of us given a steaming plate that could easily serve both of us, with leftovers, and yet we usually 
finish our own plates because it’s so good.
A big plate of the tomatoes that Tom described yesterday at every meal, sliced with parsley, dill and salt.
Bread, again, a full plate.
Dinner
Is a continuation of lunch, usually a new dish of the same quantity as lunch, with additional elements like meat dumplings or fried Kazakh breads stuffed with potatoes or egg salad with herbs. All very delicious.
A lot of onions are used in everything and the most popular dish is a brown rice dish with shredded carrots, oil and meat – called “
For all the other epicurians out there –I am just amazed at how many different dishes and tastes are created with the same simple ingredients. Foodies in the US are always searching for new elements to add to enhance flavor – where here it is almost always the same: Cabbage, carrots, onions, garlic, eggplant, potato, pasta, barley, meat. The use of oil as essential. Fresh breads bought daily, and dough made every few days for the specialty dumplings and stuffed breads. A few versions of what they call fresh 
salad and we would call a "slaw," each of which starts with shredded cabbage and then different ingredients are added to make the different varieties.
As for snacks – there is always a bowl left on the table with dried fruits, nuts and chocolates. I think fresh fruit is more of a treat and specialty. We have had oranges, apples and pears. At a party we had the other night the neighbors brought a watermelon which was a treat and devoured by all.
By the way………Veronika loves raisins and bananas but could care less about cookies. Takes one bite and puts it down. When I told that to Aidan – her reaction was simply—after a long pause-- “whoa.” It was if she was shocked at the very thought. Let’s see how long this lasts.
Our time here has gone by rather quickly and I hope to feel the same way in a few weeks from now when I am still here in Arkalyk waiting to go to the big city, Almaty. Who knows, perhaps the whole process can be a few days shorter and we can be home by the beginning of November.
Every day gets better with Veronika, we have a rhythm and it works. She is really cute and her personality comes out more and more every day. She is finally vocal and is babbling on in Russian with maybe even some words and baby talk in English mixed in. “V” is definitely starting to understand what I say to her in English and has begun testing me to get my attention.
Thankfully, we are getting out more to wander around and explore which makes me happy. There is not much to do when we go out to walk (much of which is along unpaved paths and dirt roads) but I am always the voyeur and curious about all the people we see. Unfortunately I have not really photographed the people out of respect for their privacy, I hope that when I am walking around with Veronika and Khabiba in a few weeks maybe some of the people will let me take their pictures.
The children go to school in uniforms, the girls’ look like little French maids with white doily lace aprons covering little black dresses and the boys all seem to wear shiny blue suits. There are many babushkas out shopping in the classic garb of house dress and head scarf you would imagine.
Then there are the teenagers, all of them stylish with the girls in designer jeans and high heel pumps despite the dirt roads. All of the women take pride in their wardrobe, they wear a lot of black, and are stylish in a dressed-up way that is such a contrast to the simple life that is led here. There is a definite pride that people take in knowing they can dress well, have a family car, put meat on the table and entertain and host friends and family--the simple necessities and pleasures that should not be underestimated.
All in all we are well, happy and excited for all that has happened here thus far. Any attempts to grasp what our life will be like at home with Veronika seem surreal while we’re still in Arkalyk. We can’t wait to get home and introduce Veronika and Aidan and watch that relationship develop—this has been my dream and thrill, for the two girls to bond and be sister soul-mates.
Today is officially the last day of our bonding period, I think we both feel at alternating moments as if we arrived a second ago and have been here for
months. Our court hearing is this Wednesday the 3rd and barring any issues I’ll take the train to Astana next Sunday the 7th and then a morning flight to Almaty on the 8th where I’ll be using an office I’ve borrowed from a law firm there. Allyson will stay in Arkalyk and she and Veronika will travel to Almaty at the end of the month where we will take care of the US embassy processing and head home.
A few things to report from Arkalyk, the first one being our first encounter with Kazkahstan-style medical treatment. Veronika’s cold got worse in the middle of the week, and we were told she’d arrive late to the apartment on Wednesday because she had a fever overnight and was getting her “treatments.” When she arrived around noon that day her face was flushed, her shirts (they dress them in three, typically) soaked, her hair wet and we discovered that she’d gotten a shot of some kind. She just wasn’t herself the whole day, didn’t want Allyson to hold her, didn’t want to nap or eat. She totally lost it when we tried to change her out of her wet clothes or put her down for a nap, and it took almost the whole afternoon for her to return to normal. When we asked about her “treatments” we were told that she’d been given a steam under a hood, which sounded scary but OK for a head cold and a shot containing more narcotics than a linebacker gets for a hip injury--as the saying goes, when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. She’s a lot better now but I wonder how many days shorter her cold would have been without the treatments.
In other news, the sheep has found a temporary home. If I’ve got the story straight, Khabiba has a distant cousin who has a niece by marriage who was recently married, and this cousin is obligated by tradition to host a big dinner for the newlyweds in a few weeks (it’s a big Kazakhstan tradition, during which the cooked head of the sheep is presented to the guest of honor, who then cuts symbolic pieces off the head and gives them to other family members—the children get the ears so they’ll 
listen to their parents, etc.). When she heard that the price of the sheep had dropped to $50 due to low demand she called Khabiba and asked to borrow the purchase price so she wouldn’t bring dishonor on the family.
We’ve been out and about a lot more. I can handle most simple transactions at the market, we took a walk through the park to photograph the rusted-out Ferris wheel and I was asked politely but firmly to leave the Russian Orthodox Church during midday mass. It wasn’t my fault, it was impossible to see until I was several steps in that other than the priest all of the other worshippers were women.
We don’t need to buy much given the homecooked meals but to give you a sense of the cost of living here, a 750ml bottle of good Russian or Kazakhstan beer costs 120 Kazakhstan Tenge ($1), a 750ml bottle of water costs 250 Tenge ($2), a 750 ml bottle of vodka at least as good as the Stolichnaya we’d get at home
costs 400 Tenge ($3.33) and a pair of essentially authentic addidas gloves cost 600 Tenge ($5). We also found the last two bottles of Diet Coke in Arkalyk. We had a small dinner party at our apartment last evening (which kept growing as the night went on) and Allyson made her famous bread and tomato salad for the group, which went over well. The tomatoes here are the best I’ve ever eaten. Many of you have heard me wax poetic about the oddly-shaped, multicolored heirloom tomatoes that show up in the greenmarket for a brief but glorious (there I go again) period during the summer, and that’s what the tomatoes all look like here and they’re all out of this world. They eat as many as they can, make sauce out of the rest, which they can and store in their cellars, and wait for the new season next September.
Yes, this is a photograph of Veronica texting. No, I have not been using my blackberry when she's around. I swear.
That’s about all for now, thanks again for the emails, they’ve been great.
I just spent an hour looking through my iPhoto library and reviewing my last year of photos and was struck by the rich, exciting life we lead. I must say we had an action-packed year, shared with some really good friends and family.
I thought I would now share some of Veronika’s friends from the orphanage with you and some of our new friends from Arkalyk as well. Everyone has been so kind to us and we are relaxing a bit now that we are confident Veronika is doing well and our court date is just around the corner.
The dinner party pictures are from a dinner we were invited to attend on Monday evening to celebrate the birthday of Marina, the orphanage doctor. We had a really nice time and the language barrier seems non-existent, Khabiba translates as we go but a lot of our communication is hand gestures (we are New Yorkers, after all) and facial expressions. Of course, there were the mandatory rounds of toasts and vodka shots, we held our own this time and are starting to really understand why others who’ve been here feel such an attachment to Arkalyk and the people.
More tomorrow, it’s cold and rainy here and we have Veronika in the flat today, she’s got the same cold as the others so we’re doctoring her up and enjoying her anyway.
Update/Schedule
Today Monday, September 24th is day 10 of our mandatory two week bonding period.
We have a confirmed court date for Wednesday October 3rd at 3pm. The judge will give her decision by the end of that day. We are reasonably confident that we will have no issues to get in the way of this process and our petition to adopt Veronika will be granted by the court.
Once the court date has passed there will be a two week notice period and then approximately two more weeks for paperwork and Veronika’s final papers and passport will be complete for her to leave Arkalyk, Kazakhstan. After the notice period her adoption will be final and she can leave the orphanage for good and stay here in the apartment with us. After these four weeks pass we will then go to Almaty to the American Embassy for medical clearance and review before being able to depart the country. So we are thinking it is early November at this point.
We’re weighing the ability to break up the time away from Aidan and the fact that Veronika has only known the orphanage so she will continue to be with all the people she knows already vs. the ability to let her leave that life as soon as possible and get some solid, 24/7 bonding time in during some or most of the 3-4 weeks we’ll need to wait out until we can finally leave Arkalyk and begin to head home.
This is the decision of the day – Is Tom going to Almaty after court to work out of an office there, will he head back to New York and then meet us in Almaty? Shall I stay or will I go….
Stay tuned for our decision in the next day or so.
We had our morning visit with Veronika out in the yard at the orphanage and the repetitive nature of our visits, I believe, are comforting to her as they are to all two-year olds, who enjoy the predictability of having the same toys and games to play with from one day to the next. I will say that when it’s time to go back into the orphanage with her group, she does not resist at all, she actually goes straight in to join them, just a quick turn to wave and off she goes.
By the way…..the hat – not my idea, she is attached to this thing and it is very special to her. I bought her a new one, but she freaks out when I try to put it on her – so for now the purple hat will remain. I will work on the switch soon enough but it is cold for her so she really needs something on her head.
Our afternoon started with the Arkalyk Museum first and Khabiba was a very knowle
dgeable guide who has clearly given this tour before. Then we went with Khabiba and her husba
nd, Aidir for a drive out to the airport that has been closed for many years now. It’s a tradition in Arkalyk that they drive to the airport for special occasions, wedding pictures, or when visitors are in from out of town. It was a cool sunny day and we cruised out to the airport through this big sky country. It felt good to be out and about, taking pictures and having fun.
We stopped for another view on the top of one of hills made by the bauxite mining and for another tradition – cold beer and smoked cheese (it’s also their version of lovers lane). I had to take a picture of Tom on this hilltop, of course there we were and his blackberry rings. It was a client calling, in this case someone who Tom is also very close to personally who was just checking in to see how our trip is going. A really nice gesture and many of you have seen my series of Tom on the telephone – soon to be a flip book.
Anyway – we are well. Had
a good day. Missed the Sunday Styles section, Aidan of course and yes I admit it – Starbucks, but otherwise we are just great!
We’ve been fortunate that the weather has been cold and rainy the past few days and we had Veronika come to visit us in the flat again all day yesterday and this morning. Allyson’s description of our time with Veronika is below, while I spend a moment describing Arkalyk. A story we heard today gave me a good excuse to describe the town for you.
Arkalyk is a place of pretty strong contrasts, and feels like a model of 1950s, Soviet-style planned living (a portion of the Soviet space program was located near here for a long time). It does seem as if the Soviets stopped spending money on its upkeep fairly soon after it was built and Kazakhstan has only recently had the funds to fix it up, which is being done slowly. Half the buildings are bricked over and the cars all seem to be of Reagan-era (sorry, Gorbachev-era) vintage, but the people all dress stylishly, and unlike the period immediately pre- and post-independence in 1991, there are enough jobs and food for all. Still, the people are very tied to the land and the habits that helped them get by when Kazakhstan was part of the 
Soviet Union.
Anyway, we heard from Khabiba that a friend of hers had called to ask if she’d like to buy a sheep, which this friend had received as payment this afternoon for some work she’d done for someone in town recently. The sheep was living on the balcony of this friend’s apartment, and the friend wanted the use of the balcony back but didn’t need the mutton, having stocked up on her meat for the winter. Khabiba didn’t need the sheep, because she had gotten up at 5:30 this morning to buy meat from the market that sets up intermittently in the middle of town, and she figured that the 65 kilos (120 pounds) of meat she’d bought was enough to tide her family, her in-laws, and us over until the next time that the market, Brigadoon-like, was open for business. In fact, everyone that Khabiba’s friend knew had gone to the market and done the same thing, so the sheep went unsold and is probably peacefully sleeping on the balcony as we write this.
Now here’s Ally on Veronika…
Another delightful visit with Veronika. 
I must admit that the
more time we spend with her at our flat the better. Every time 
we bring her back to the orphanage and see her in her group we just get sad for her. Maybe she is fine, it is really all that she has known and has been her world, friends and family, up until now. I’m sure she must be a bit confused with us, after all she hardly understands what we are saying to her in English and the handful of Russian praises and phrases we have don’t go very far. Somehow we all get by and today we actually made her laugh – we heard her giggle and it was so much fun. Veronika is fairly silent, she mumbles a few words, but she mostly does not speak. We will work on that and maybe even get some help once we get home. I’ve already been thinking that it will be very easy to find a Russian-speaking woman back in Brooklyn who can come to our home and speak to Veronika and help us transition better. I saw woman because really that is what she has known in the orphanage--there do not seem to be many men around. She is fascinated with Tom’s unshaven face and Adam’s Apple, she loves to be held by him while she puts her hand on his throat and feels it move when he speaks (she continues to check my neck on a daily basis to see if I have developed one as well). It has only been a week since we met Veronika, it’s amazing how connected we feel already.
By the way, a couple of people have asked, we will be keeping her name, and adding “Rose” as her middle name in honor of both of our grandmothers. Until next time, keep the comments and emails coming, we enjoy getting them and miss you all.
